Now what? What do you do when someone refuses to forgive you? That's what a caller asked Steve Gregg, host of The Narrow Path radio talk program.
Have you had the same experience?
https://youtu.be/otlmEUnL-uY
This begs the question of whether you can truly forgive someone without the courtesy of letting them know.Paidion wrote:One time when I asked someone to forgive me, that person said, "I forgave you a long time ago." Somehow, because of the manner in which the person said it, I felt it to me an insult rather than a mere statement of having forgiven me.
What are your thoughts?
Yes, it does lead to that question. However, many people understand "forgiveness" as tantamount to "pardon"—that is, not requiring any restitution on the part of the offender, and also letting go of any ill feelings you might have against the offender. But I think Jesus taught forgiveness as a restoration of relationship with the offender, conditional upon the offender's repentance.TK wrote: This begs the question of whether you can truly forgive someone without the courtesy of letting them know.
Could you elaborate on what you mean by "restoration of relationship"? What if a young lady is dating a young man and on a date he rapes her? Would her forgiveness necessitate that she resume dating the man? Many other examples could be adduced that would call your understanding of forgiveness into question such as the bookkeeper who steals from his employer or the day care employee who molests a child.But I think Jesus taught forgiveness as a restoration of relationship with the offender, conditional upon the offender's repentance.
Yes, I mean exactly that! When an offender truly repents (has a change of heart and mind), and the offended person grants true forgiveness (as opposed to mere pardon ie. letting go of his ill feelings toward the offender and not requiring restitution) ,then the relationship between the two individuals becomes as it was prior to the offence. With regard to their restored relationship, it is then just as if the offence had never occurred .You wrote:Could you elaborate on what you mean by "restoration of relationship"?
It would necessitate that he would have had a true repentance, a change of heart and mind concerning what he had done. The young lady could grant true forgiveness if she recognized the sincerity of his repentance. This could well result in the resumption of dating. I don't say that it necessitates that aspect of their former relationship because there may be other factors involved in her choice not to do so. But those other factors would not include a concern that he might rape her again. For if she thought that, then she did not truly forgive him.What if a young lady is dating a young man and on a date he rapes her? Would her forgiveness necessitate that she resume dating the man?
Again, if the bookkeeper truly repented and his employer recognized this as a real change of heart and mind, and granted true forgiveness, then he would trust that employer as he trusted him previously. As far as their restored relationship was concerned, it would be just as if he had never stolen.Many other examples could be adduced that would call your understanding of forgiveness into question such as the bookkeeper who steals from his employer...
Once again, if the employee TRULY repented and the parent of the child recognized this as genuine repentance (a change of heart and mind) and truly forgave him, he would then trust that employee not to repeat his crime, and would be willing to permit his child to be again under his care. If the parent couldn't trust him, then he didn't believe in the employee's declaration of repentance and didn't truly forgive him....or the day care employee who molests a child.
Consider that forgiveness of people, including God's forgiveness, seem to be conditional upon repentance:Can you cite a scripture for your understanding?
If the person would still be tempted, this is a clear indication that he has not had a change of heart and mind. He might have been sorry when he was caught, and some people call that "repentance" but he would not have repented as indicated by the Biblical word "μετανοια." "μετα" means "change" and "νοια" refers to the mind. Thus "μετανοια" means "change of mind." If the man had truly changed his mind about stealing, then he wouldn't be tempted when placed in the same position. If the employer is unable to trust him, then he did not truly forgive him.Hi Homer, you wrote:The person who embezzled from his employer, if placed back in his previous position, would be placed back in a position of temptation where he has a proven weakness.
That is a very common concept of "forgiveness." I use the word "pardon" for that. Pardon may also not require the person the person to make restitution. I also acknowledge that the Greek word for "forgiveness" may refer either to true forgiveness involving restoration of relationship, as well as to simple pardon that may not. And of course, merely letting go of bitterness and anger and not requiring restitution, does not necessitate ever trusting the person again.Hi TK, you wrote:Forgiveness in my mind seems to entail letting go of bitterness and anger towards a person. It does not require trusting that person 100%.