Rick_C's Dialogue with Some Bible Guys
Rick: Welcome to all of you. I appreciate your coming!
Paul: If I may be so bold to speak first...
Peter: Go ahead. Go ahead! Go ahead already!
(grins) (room laughter)
Paul: (still laughing) Greetings! and "Grace on ya!" to say it how some you younger folks might say it in these days. Yet I know one of you may say, "Paul believed in Necromancy." May it never be! God forbid! We are all here for discussion purposes only. So, on behalf of: myself, Peter, James, the brother of our Lord, and John, one of the "Sons of Thunder" -- these "pillars guys" -- it is nice to be with you. By the way, the way you shake hands is very interesting.
Rick: Thank You! James, would you have any opening comments?
James: As Paul said, I am glad to be among you! I seek no place of prominence, this is your interview. I'm here mainly to keep an eye on Peter!
(more laughter, Peter only congenially grins, James now sez to Peter) Is it not a wise thing to laugh in the seasons of joy?
(Peter eagerly nods, like how a three year old does it)
John: My dear Rick, may we proceed together in love? What are your concerns, my son?
Rick: Thank you, John, um, sir: Sir John!
(Rick braces self for possible bolt of lightning, not getting zapped, he continues)
Uh...I don't know where to begin, this is awesome! Okay, due to time constraints and though you all have only theoretically come down from heaven; Let me begin with Peter. What do you you think about the teachers, John Calvin and Jacobius Arminius?
Peter: Who? I've never heard of them.
Rick: You know, the 16th century theologians of Europe.
Peter: (wrings hands, appears frustrated) I never met them.
Rick: But surely you have heard about them, haven't you?
Peter: (angry face) I tell you for the
THIRD TIME; I do not know these men!
Rick: Oh, I see. Sorry if I upset you ... Um, Paul, what, if anything, do you know of these men?
Paul: I am familiar with them though, of course, I never knew them in the flesh -- and none of us teaches or taught that people can actually talk with us like this -- I have to say! But, yes, I do know a few things about these men and their disciples.
Rick: Are they heretical?
Paul: I didn't bring my parchment notebook but I would say that Christ is not divided! Did John Calvin baptize any of your contemporaries? Did Jake Arminius baptize any of them? No. Who was baptized in the name of Clark Pinnock? None; no, not one.
Rick: But what of their doctrines?
Paul: Sects or sectarianism isn't anything new. Before I came to faith there were conflicts in the Holy City among the Greek and Hebrew believers. Years later, we had other differences over circumcision that Peter and James can attest to, being spokepersons at our Conference.
But to answer you; it would be wrong-headed to think that I, just because I used pagan words, quoted pagan poets, and utilized pagan ideas, "motifs" as you call them, to convey my message in ways that would be familiar to my readers or listeners; it would be empty-headed to think that I, somehow, actually embraced a pagan worldview! Far be it from me!
John: Can a man enter the second time into his mother's womb and come out again as a pagan? My son, no he cannot.
James: We spoke in words of wisdom that could be understood by those who seek the wisdom that comes from above. The one who says we were philosophers is not wise! The wisdom of this world comes from below, is earthly, carnal, of the devil.
Paul: We all, including you and your believing readers, Rick, are the True Israel of God! He is neither an Unknown God to us, nor is He a "Form" nor a "Prime Mover" as the pagans say.
Peter: I saw him on the Holy Mount in His glory!!!
Rick: Amen and God bless you for that, Peter! But you wrote about our being born again. Tell me, does regeneration precede faith? Or do we have faith first, and then, are born again?
Peter: (long pause) James, what is this fellow talking about???
James: I take second seat to Paul.
Paul: Peter, these things, the Gentiles concern themselves with. They pretend that they can know the thoughts of our God and Father. They wrongly divide
our words as you mentioned they did mine in one of your letters. But even if I were to say to them if regeneration preceded -- or didn't precede -- faith; they would continue to fight among themselves. I know, that I, as a Jew, would have no reason to consider such foolish things. "For who can know the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?" And again, where He says, "My thoughts are not your thoughts." These rather unfortunate Gentile believers of Rick's day are caught up in so much philosophical fancy. Then they try to pin this pagan philosophical nonsense onto us! They pretend to read our minds and go further on to fantasize they can read God's very Own mind! Had I intended to say anything about these so-called "decrees" that came up years after we died -- as if I, the chief of sinners -- could probe into all mysteries hidden in the mind of God, as they imagine a man could do -- and live to tell about it -- I most certainly would have done and said so!!!
Let me tell you what you will say to me, (I speak as a foolish theologian)!
Does regeneration precede faith or is it the other way around?
-- My answer to you is: I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.
Does our God and Father predestine to elect some to be saved and passes over or predestines the others go to hell?
-- I ask you, who want to know so much; How can they hear if no one is sent???
But what choice do I have? How much can I decide? is what you so desire to know.
-- Do you believe in your heart that God raised His Son, Jesus, from the dead? and that he died for our sins, according to the Scriptures?
-- You answer me, then I will answer you!!!
When did He "decree" these things you are so curious about? Was it after Adam fell or before?
-- The Lord God "decreed" this: No one else can BE Him and, therefore, no one can know His very own thoughts! Have you seen the bust of Plato? Tell me: In what ways do you think I -- even remotely -- resemble him? The Almighty does what He does when He does them and according to His own good and wise counsel.
What?---Do you think I am a god? Was I there when He chose to do what He willed to do before the foundation of the world? Were you??? I may not be a trained motivational speaker but I DO have knowledge! The wisdom of this world is foolishness to Him! I AM A JEW!!! And as our Lord Himself said, "Salvation if of the Jews." Can philosophy save you? Do the philosophers of this age know Him who appeared to Moses in the bush? Were they there when He parted the Sea? and led them from bondage? NOT! I will tell you again, I AM A JEW!!! Why is it, then, that you take me to be some goofy Gentile philosophical pagan moron who
---Rick: Welllll... Okayyyyy, alrighty then! uhhhm, thank you very much, Paul and Panel! Shall we finish brunch now?
Peter: Yeah, I'm
HUNGRY!
Paul: Peter! Then I tell you to your face: Pass the ham salad, already! Aish!!!
(room filled with serious GUFFAWS, slowly quieting with each mouthful)
(to be continued)....
