Hello
I have been very puzzled on this for a while now. There are many scriptures in the bible regarding taking care of widows and orphans. There are also actual "rules" as to what an actual widow in need is in the early church etc. I glean from scripture the needs are not just material.
The scriptures also compare taking care of widows and orphans as true worship. So one of my questions is why do so many churches down play this so much?
They have all kinds of ministries for singles, or married couples, kids groups , evangelism etc. but none for widows. I don't even know of widows lists. I know of a strong devoted ministry for widows called widows harvest in Tenn. and have been connected with them for a few years.
With all the wars etc. globally the number of widows continues to climb. And they certainly will more as the baby boomer generations start hitting that older age also.
I personally tried a few times to take this to the church leaders in my church and some individuals and I was politely turned away or given the chain of command to follow if I wanted to try and start a group etc. . I tried that and got nowhere.
I find this same type of attitude in many churches today.
I would like to know how the church you go to takes care of its widows and orphans? Thanks to all Glow
widows and orphans and their care
widows and orphans and their care
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Hi glow,
There is nothing stopping you from starting your own widows and orphans ministry. Any church worth its salt should jump at the opportunity for someone like you to get this strated. However, if there is resistance in your church, the thing God placed on your heart is still there so I say get organized by discovering who the widows are in your area, determine if they have a need and start working towards helping in that need. Get whoever you can to help or if the help is just not there, simply do what you can. God was talking about your true worship, not the worship of the church so you are the one to please God concerning you.
God bless your heart and I pray that you will go forward with this plan of yours.
There is nothing stopping you from starting your own widows and orphans ministry. Any church worth its salt should jump at the opportunity for someone like you to get this strated. However, if there is resistance in your church, the thing God placed on your heart is still there so I say get organized by discovering who the widows are in your area, determine if they have a need and start working towards helping in that need. Get whoever you can to help or if the help is just not there, simply do what you can. God was talking about your true worship, not the worship of the church so you are the one to please God concerning you.
God bless your heart and I pray that you will go forward with this plan of yours.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Hi Glow, I looked up Widows Harvest's website and it looks like a great ministry. Is that the kind of ministry you were hoping to establish at your church? My church had a ministry for any single mothers where they would chnage your oil for free. I guess that beats the $19.95 I usually pay, but that's not my most pressing need as a widow.
I am part of a group of women, who all happen to be widows, who meet every couple of months for dinner. What is nice about that group is that we can shed a few tears and remember our husbands without anyone else getting that uncomfortable look. Do you know the look I mean? This is not a christian group, however, and I wish there was something like that at church. The "older singles" groups tend to be divorce recovery groups and I feel like an outsider there.
I'm a little shocked by the response you've recieved at your church. Perhaps they thought you were just being self-serving, or maybe they are a little convicted about their own lack of concern?
I am part of a group of women, who all happen to be widows, who meet every couple of months for dinner. What is nice about that group is that we can shed a few tears and remember our husbands without anyone else getting that uncomfortable look. Do you know the look I mean? This is not a christian group, however, and I wish there was something like that at church. The "older singles" groups tend to be divorce recovery groups and I feel like an outsider there.
I'm a little shocked by the response you've recieved at your church. Perhaps they thought you were just being self-serving, or maybe they are a little convicted about their own lack of concern?
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Glow, One of the most overlooked people in our society is the widows and orphans. I am a chaplain of two large assited living homes and have been for almost 5 years. One of the greatest needs in the world today is people who are willing to minister to the elderly and the widows and many of them are orphans who have been abandoned by family.
I hope that you will consider this as a calling and no matter what your local church does, get involved in these people lives. This has been one of the most rewarding ministries of my life.
I hope that you will consider this as a calling and no matter what your local church does, get involved in these people lives. This has been one of the most rewarding ministries of my life.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Servant of the Lord
widows
Thanks everyone for your replys so far.
Michelle, I did consider a set up like widows harvest. Andy mendosa who heads it up was very gracious and sent me material and a video when I first connected with him that I took to my church. My pastor was very open to hear me but that was it. He told me I would have to work with the mens ministry to get help with folks homes etc. It was a fiasco. Alot of mens egos clashing with one another as far as I saw it and me as a woman was down the line as far as being listened to.
I know about carpentry etc from the many old houses we have had over the years so I tried to be helpful and very "gentle" in my position with them.But they couldn't click with eachother well or me.So I had to walk away from it.
Since then I do try and stay connected to folks around me who are widowed or in need, including my mothers nursing home. I usually can only help some financially or in praying, listening to them or directing them to maybe places they may recieve help because I have M.S. and get weak physically rather easy with alot of activity or stress . I have alimited energy level and I live alone and do my own "upkeep".
Thats why I had hoped the church heads would have helped more because they are physically strong.I actually atempted again without signing my name through a letter to the headship at the church to reach them again about 2 months ago when they were having a big talk on finding your place to minister within and out of church and had you fill out all this stuff.. So far I have heard or seen nothing from them in talks or discussion etc.
This is 4 yrs later after my first more agressive attempts.. I didn't sign it so no one could put my face with the request( help for widows and orphans) incase they would think I just wanted something for myself or it was sour grapes etc. from the past. I never heard anything from the pulpit or chain of command where I would hear it, if they were doing anything.
Needless to say it is becoming increasingly hard for me to continue to go to that church , even though I have gone there for about 13 yrs. They are changing even more and I can't say I am comfortable in that direction either.I don't know maybe I am sinning in here about something and I need to take the plank out of my own eye first and thats why I seem to get no where? I am still trying and praying on it all.
I would appreciate any prayers for a lead where God might want me to go with this or another church to attend.I am getting so disolutioned with the churches in general in my area, how they talk a good talk but the community seems to be spending their time in social events while others are in need except for a select few.It is turning into quite a wealthy area , maybe that has something to do with it???
Helping widows and orphans etc. is in the bible so much from old testament to new it still blows my mind how under valued the word is on this subject among Christians. I seem to see more in the non Christian world in places..
Maybe what I am experiencing is in the monority ? Not sure Glow
Michelle, I did consider a set up like widows harvest. Andy mendosa who heads it up was very gracious and sent me material and a video when I first connected with him that I took to my church. My pastor was very open to hear me but that was it. He told me I would have to work with the mens ministry to get help with folks homes etc. It was a fiasco. Alot of mens egos clashing with one another as far as I saw it and me as a woman was down the line as far as being listened to.
I know about carpentry etc from the many old houses we have had over the years so I tried to be helpful and very "gentle" in my position with them.But they couldn't click with eachother well or me.So I had to walk away from it.
Since then I do try and stay connected to folks around me who are widowed or in need, including my mothers nursing home. I usually can only help some financially or in praying, listening to them or directing them to maybe places they may recieve help because I have M.S. and get weak physically rather easy with alot of activity or stress . I have alimited energy level and I live alone and do my own "upkeep".
Thats why I had hoped the church heads would have helped more because they are physically strong.I actually atempted again without signing my name through a letter to the headship at the church to reach them again about 2 months ago when they were having a big talk on finding your place to minister within and out of church and had you fill out all this stuff.. So far I have heard or seen nothing from them in talks or discussion etc.
This is 4 yrs later after my first more agressive attempts.. I didn't sign it so no one could put my face with the request( help for widows and orphans) incase they would think I just wanted something for myself or it was sour grapes etc. from the past. I never heard anything from the pulpit or chain of command where I would hear it, if they were doing anything.
Needless to say it is becoming increasingly hard for me to continue to go to that church , even though I have gone there for about 13 yrs. They are changing even more and I can't say I am comfortable in that direction either.I don't know maybe I am sinning in here about something and I need to take the plank out of my own eye first and thats why I seem to get no where? I am still trying and praying on it all.
I would appreciate any prayers for a lead where God might want me to go with this or another church to attend.I am getting so disolutioned with the churches in general in my area, how they talk a good talk but the community seems to be spending their time in social events while others are in need except for a select few.It is turning into quite a wealthy area , maybe that has something to do with it???
Helping widows and orphans etc. is in the bible so much from old testament to new it still blows my mind how under valued the word is on this subject among Christians. I seem to see more in the non Christian world in places..
Maybe what I am experiencing is in the monority ? Not sure Glow
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Glow, awesome question. I'm not sure what my church's policy is with regard to widowsn, i'll ask next week.
One thing to note is what Paul says about which widows are to be supported by the churches:
3 Honor widows who are really widows. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. 7 And these things command, that they may be blameless. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, 10 well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work. 11 But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, 12 having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some have already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows. 1 Timothy 5
The key thing here, is that the church obviously need to be quite intimate in order to know about the moral character of the widows. Also, notice that Paul seems to have as much to say concerning the families of the widows. He says that they are the ones who should be supporting their older women who have lost their husbands. It's only if there are no believing relatives that the church should even consider supporting such sisters.
ybiM,
Ely
One thing to note is what Paul says about which widows are to be supported by the churches:
3 Honor widows who are really widows. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. 7 And these things command, that they may be blameless. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, 10 well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work. 11 But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, 12 having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some have already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows. 1 Timothy 5
The key thing here, is that the church obviously need to be quite intimate in order to know about the moral character of the widows. Also, notice that Paul seems to have as much to say concerning the families of the widows. He says that they are the ones who should be supporting their older women who have lost their husbands. It's only if there are no believing relatives that the church should even consider supporting such sisters.
ybiM,
Ely
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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"Looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour, Christ Jesus" Titus 2:13
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Glow, I will tell you this from exsperience, thier are certain denominations that have set up chains of commands and if is not done through the denomination or local church and approved by the pastor then forget it. If your church will not support you in this, remember God has many other avenues and resourses available to you if you are a willing servant and are sincere in your heart and motives. Do not grow weary while doing good.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Servant of the Lord
Hi Elly
Yes I know the scriptures you are regarding to here. The thing I have seen is widows need more than just financial help. They need emotional help.
Regardless whether they have family coming along side them or not. Also there seems to be a need just for information regarding wills or life insurance etc.Some one just to listen to them as they cry and greive. Basic daily needs in the world also.
Back when the scriptures were written widows were down and out, often penniless if they didnt have relatives or another brother to marry etc. todays widows live in a very different world.
I know myself I even back slid some. I cannot blame any one for my sins ultimately but I was very alone, felt abandoned by my church and others and no one but 1 couple out of a thousand in my church came along side me for a time, beyond just a short hope youre ok comment to me in passing even though my husband was very well liked in our church and I thought I was.I also already gave the experince I had in trying to get something going in my church body also and how it fell apart. People outside the church (non Christians I knew were more considerate on some levels in my experince, very sad.)Some Folks just don't have the time or feel uncomfortable.
As far as family. My kids (older) and sister and mom were in need emotionally. They were all hurting very much emotionally and I ended up having to be the strength for them alot. They also were not in very good positions to help me with my physical needs etc. because they work alot of hours at their jobs and have young kids themselves.
So I know the church is suppose to expect family members to fill that gap first but in an imperfect world it just doesn't happen. They did what they could but to be honest it was not much as far as the needs I happened to have. I am sure there are many more that have greater needs than I.I am very greatful I have what I do and am cared for as much as I am. God is faithful also and has helped me accomplish things I am amazed with some times.
That is why I personally think it is so important for those that can organize or band together or who are healthy to help those that are weaker.And a widows list for the leadership to have I think would be very useful to stay connected to the widows or orphans in their flock. Even if the widows are young or wealthy. There are still needs.
Thanks for your input Elly Glow
Yes I know the scriptures you are regarding to here. The thing I have seen is widows need more than just financial help. They need emotional help.
Regardless whether they have family coming along side them or not. Also there seems to be a need just for information regarding wills or life insurance etc.Some one just to listen to them as they cry and greive. Basic daily needs in the world also.
Back when the scriptures were written widows were down and out, often penniless if they didnt have relatives or another brother to marry etc. todays widows live in a very different world.
I know myself I even back slid some. I cannot blame any one for my sins ultimately but I was very alone, felt abandoned by my church and others and no one but 1 couple out of a thousand in my church came along side me for a time, beyond just a short hope youre ok comment to me in passing even though my husband was very well liked in our church and I thought I was.I also already gave the experince I had in trying to get something going in my church body also and how it fell apart. People outside the church (non Christians I knew were more considerate on some levels in my experince, very sad.)Some Folks just don't have the time or feel uncomfortable.
As far as family. My kids (older) and sister and mom were in need emotionally. They were all hurting very much emotionally and I ended up having to be the strength for them alot. They also were not in very good positions to help me with my physical needs etc. because they work alot of hours at their jobs and have young kids themselves.
So I know the church is suppose to expect family members to fill that gap first but in an imperfect world it just doesn't happen. They did what they could but to be honest it was not much as far as the needs I happened to have. I am sure there are many more that have greater needs than I.I am very greatful I have what I do and am cared for as much as I am. God is faithful also and has helped me accomplish things I am amazed with some times.
That is why I personally think it is so important for those that can organize or band together or who are healthy to help those that are weaker.And a widows list for the leadership to have I think would be very useful to stay connected to the widows or orphans in their flock. Even if the widows are young or wealthy. There are still needs.
Thanks for your input Elly Glow
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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widows
P.S.
Just to reply as far as who was considered a "real widow" I did hold up to all the rules as far as being a widow under 60. I was 51 at the time( 5 yrs ago) married and faithful for 29 yrs , worked in the church, headed the emergancy prayer group for 4 yrs in our church, I do pray alot and always have and my husband did just as much. So even under that we held up. So to speak. Glow
Just to reply as far as who was considered a "real widow" I did hold up to all the rules as far as being a widow under 60. I was 51 at the time( 5 yrs ago) married and faithful for 29 yrs , worked in the church, headed the emergancy prayer group for 4 yrs in our church, I do pray alot and always have and my husband did just as much. So even under that we held up. So to speak. Glow
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Glow,
You said:
You also said:
We have an elder who says "Love is spelled t-i-m-e". He is so right. It is so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves when we can so easily share some of our time with the lonely and suffering.
Frank said it well regarding the needs of the lonely and especially about not growing weary in doing good!
May God bless you Glow!
Homer
You said:
I believe the "plank in the eye" Jesus referred to was a judging, condemning spirit (attitude). I do not see this at all in what you say. We must not give up judging in the sense of discerning between right and wrong; Jesus also said we are to "Judge with righteous judgement". This is exactly what I see in what you say..I don't know maybe I am sinning in here about something and I need to take the plank out of my own eye first and thats why I seem to get no where? I am still trying and praying on it all.
You also said:
Yes I know the scriptures you are regarding to here. The thing I have seen is widows need more than just financial help. They need emotional help.
You are so right in what you say. Some are very lonely and can't get out much. They need to have someone who cares and will listen as much as they need physical things. I have a relative in another state who has gone through and is going through troubles that probably seem like those of Job to her. I have called her often and listened to and encouraged her. She told someone she "just lives for my calls". I had no idea they mean so much to her!Some one just to listen to them as they cry and greive. Basic daily needs in the world also.
We have an elder who says "Love is spelled t-i-m-e". He is so right. It is so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves when we can so easily share some of our time with the lonely and suffering.
Frank said it well regarding the needs of the lonely and especially about not growing weary in doing good!
May God bless you Glow!
Homer
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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A Berean