Article About Gossip

[Homer]

Interesting article about an all too common sin and how it can harm the subject, gossiper, and listener:

[Gossip]

[Michelle]

Homer and I have been having a behind-the-scenes discussion about this. I'm reprinting it here with his permission. Here it is (including an embarrassing confession from me):

Hi Michelle,

I posted a link to an article you might find interesting. It is about gossip and based on studies done in school settings. You will find it in the ethics section.

God bless, Homer

Thanks, Homer. It IS a very interesting article about a sin that I still struggle with from time to time. I've never seen it as bad in any school I've worked in as that story depicts, but it IS a poisonous nectar to drink. Thanks for posting the article.

God bless,
Michelle

Hi Michelle,

I am glad you found the article interesting. You mention struggling with this sin occasionally. I think it probably is one of the most common sins we commit, and so often we do not even notice we are doing it. I think it (the article) is good material for a class at church. People badly need to be mindful of this sin, and just what it is.

My wife read it and we had a good discussion. She pointed out that when we speak glowingly of a former pastor when the subject is the present one, by implication, we are gossiping about the present one.

We had a man do some concrete work for us years ago; he did a poor job. A friend from church asked about his work as she was considering hiring him to do some for her. My wife spoke negatively about the work he did for us and she did not hire him. Were my wife's comments gossip? I said I did not think so, the "Law of Love" would seem to require us to inform the lady truthfully as she had a right to know. But then, what if the man had gotten better at it? It is not always so easy to know what we should do.

Blessings, Homer

Homer,

You wouldn't believe how timely this is for me. Just the night before last, I shared my "hunch" with someone that a young lady we both know was sleeping with her boyfriend. As soon as the words were out, I knew I had been horribly sinful and apologized. I know exactly why I did it - it was to boost my standing with this friend and to draw him in as an ally. I asked for his forgiveness, God's forgiveness, and, although I didn't admit to the young lady that I had been talking about her behind her back (because that seems more harmful than helpful) I confronted her with the scanty evidence I had that her actions and the things she says at least give the appearance that she's sinning (which is what I should have done in the first place.) I think I've repented and made things as right as I can, but I'm left with the horrible realization that I can fall into this so easily and commit this sin almost without thinking about it. I'm sure glad the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, and sometimes before we make too much of a mess.

As for your experience with the guy how did the concrete work, I don't think that is gossiping. Your friend asked you for an evaluation of his work, and you gave an honest evaluation. If he has improved since the time he did a poor job for you, it's up to him to provide that evidence to possible customers. I don't think we're required to speak untruthfully when giving an evaluation in an effort not to gossip. In fact, that's how those teachers should have handled things. Most schools have an evaluation procedure. Toward the end of the year at my school, we have a large evaluation - about 10 pages - to fill out about the administration. That is the time to discuss how micromanaging by your boss affects the climate of the school and how that can put a damper on your performance.

Homer, this is really making me think! Would you be willing for one of us to copy this discussion onto the forum? I'd love to see if anyone else chimes in.

God bless you,
Michelle

Hi Michelle,

It would be fine with me to post our discussion as you see fit, especially if it helps someone. When I posted the link, I almost called it to your attention in the post only because I knew you were a teacher, but it would not have been good to give the impression that you in particular needed to read it! Your example of how you slipped up is something I'm sure I have done many times. After I became aware of what gossip really is, I have done much better, although I'm sure I am not perfect in this.

Blessings, HomerHomer