Hey JC,
I agree with you that this has been an interesting discussion. How I would love to be all in one room talking about all the stuff we talk about on this forum, but face to face!
JC wrote:Sorry, Michelle... I forgot your question:
Just out of curiosity, and because I'm a woman and there aren't that many of us here, what does "frequently" mean?
A couple times a week is frequent to me, though that's not necessarily the thing we argue about.
Hmm, that does seem a little excessive, but I'm not a person who really enjoys shopping. Well, not in public places, actually; I love shopping online.
If my wife has 10 purses and buys another one I feel like I have to comment.
So, you do know, right, that it's annoying?
I don't want her to get all her joy from material things because that's one area where you never get your fix. This is just a man's perspective.
The weird thing is that it
does provide a kind of lift. New stuff provides a fleeting sense of comfort and security, as well as an ego boost, for me anyway. I wonder if that's what your wife is seeking as well? If so, hmm...I wonder who in her life could make it his priority to insure she doesn't have to go looking to material things for those feeling?
As usual, Rae has said many, many very insightful things in this thread. One of them was about sitting down and having an objective conversation about a monthly budget. That is a great idea, but in my opinion, this is not the time to do that and here's why:
You've just gotten back from your trip to the Philippines that you characterized as kind of tumultuous. You also mentioned that your wife seemed nonchalant during some of the episodes that sort of shook you up. Perhaps you feel that she moves between the cultures with ease, but, as you've described her to us, she doesn't strike me as an oblivious twit, so I'm sure she feels the same culture shock and notices the same contrasts between our wealth and their lack that you do. You seem pretty emotional about this issue and I'd be willing to bet that she is as well, but is just expressing it differently. Therefore, right now it might be
impossible to have an objective, non-emotional discussion about the poor, budgets, spending, or new accessories.
I would say let it go for a couple of months, as long as she's not racking up impossible bills and her concern for, and giving to, the poor is still in place. And compliment her on her new shoes and how nice the home she's making looks.
Just a woman's perspective.