I have heard (and agree with) Steve's position that a believer can commit suicide, and that (though still a sin) it probably does not necessarily result in ultimate apostasy merely because one lacks the ability to repent and confess. This is not the nature of my inquiry or post.
The circumstances of his death have caused some of the most dedicated and genuine believers I know have doubt and confusion as to how such a thing can happen to a Christian. As unexpected as it truly was in light of what by all appearances was a strong and happy man, it didn't come as such a shock to me as it apparently did to so many of my brethren. I would appreciate your thoughts. Several things strike me:
- (1) it is in some measure a result of bad theology -- Steve says Calvinism is not that important as things go, but I do believe that the doctrine of "perseverance of the saints" ("P" in TULIP) can influence how you view the responsibilities and need of the church in making sure there is first and foremost the kind of koinonia fellowship and support and encouragement to "be there" for our brother in these times. This to me partially explains the church's failure (if there was one) and also the confusion of the believers that a man could be such a servant and still be in such despair.
(2) the values of the church (as evidenced in his eulogy) valued this man's service and commitment as some indication of his faithfulness and spiritual maturity.
(3) the memorial service failed to address the issue of his suicide. The well-intended minister who gave the sermon spoke of God's unending love and the peace and comfort of the spirit in the believer, and suggested Christ would never leave us -- he even ended with a recitation of the "believers' prayer." What really got me was the perception of the largely unbelieving audience of local attorneys who were no doubt already antagonistic towards the faith -- to my mind, it was such a tremendous opportunity to explain the sometimes complex and very human walk with our sovereign Lord and the need to be vigilant with our faith, our reliance on the Spirit, and the need to watch our brothers and lift them up in their time of need. If I was an even partially-skeptic unbeliever attorney sitting in that pew, I would have laughed openly and asked what good your so-called "god" and your so-called "fellowship" of comforting brethren is if it can't rescue a man from ending his own life out of the despair of life circumstances. What could bring a man that exemplifies every virtue of your so-called faith to such a state? Well, to my mind, they would be right in criticizing the misplaced values of the modern church -- it is, indeed, just this sort of leadership and virtue and service and outward appearance that the church appears to seek and train. However, what they so often fail to appreciate (and we did nothing to illuminate) is the difference between the outward appearance and churchiosity and that of the believer walking in the Spirit and what can happen when we fail to do so.
At the same time, my church is asking me to participate in some "Leadership Training" programs (though I have already been leading throughout the church for a good many years) -- this has me quite bitter and makes me reluctant to receive "instruction" from an institution that is in need of what the Holy Spirit has to offer instead of man's wisdom in management training and directed study abusing scripture to turn men into the type of leaders they seek instead of trusting in the HS to guide and direct the fellowship. Am I taking this too far? It's clearly an emotional time and I'm having difficulty discerning the Holy Spirit in this decision.
