A question for those parents who chose not to homeschool

[Guest]

With 2 preschool age children, my wife and I are prayerfully considering all the options regarding homeschool vs. christian school vs. public school.

We have found numerous Christian pro-homeschool websites and understand a majority of the reasons why many fellow believers choose to homeschool.

In an attempt to understand both sides, we have been searching for reasons why Christians choose not to homeschool. We are asking fellow believers that don't homeschool their reasons for choosing that path.

Please note: This is not a rhetorical question. Sometimes, whether it is intended or not, non-homeschoolers are, at worst, demonized, or, at best, dismissed as carnal. Our understanding is that this is an issue with which sincere brothers and sisters in Christ can disagree.

All that as a preface to ask the following question of fellow believers on this forum who have chosen not to homeschool their children:

Why?
What are your reasons?

[Guest]

In my years as a young and middle-aged man, homeschooling was not common. I taught in a public school, and my wife was a full time home-maker. This didn't leave time for either of us to home-school our 5 children.

In today's world, many couples find it necessary for both of them to be income earners. So who will home school their children?

Several families can get together and teach all the children as a group, but when this happens, it is no longer a "home school"; it is a private school.

It is interesting that my nephew, a public school teacher whose wife home-schooled their children, was criticized in this manner:

"The public school isn't good enough to send his children to, but it's good enough to put bread and butter on his table!"

Any comments?

[Guest]

Hi Schoel,

Do you only want to hear from people who could home school but chose not to? I had no choice because I was a single parent and there was no way I could stay home to home school. I wish I could've; in my imagination it must be a great experience for parent and child.

[Guest]

Michelle,
I don't want to restrict those who homeschool from weighing in with their experiences and thoughts.
That said, I'm looking for the thoughts, opinions and considerations of those who didn't homeschool.

It is interesting to me that even though you were unable to homeschool due to your situation, you wished that you had.

[Guest]

Paidon,

It is interesting that my nephew, a public school teacher whose wife home-schooled their children, was criticized in this manner:

"The public school isn't good enough to send his children to, but it's good enough to put bread and butter on his table!"

Interestingly, many of the proponents of homeschooling that I've heard were at one time public school teachers.

[Guest]

Hi Schoel,

Good friends of ours have homeschooled their two children, currently teenagers, their whole lives. Hence, they have given us many reasons why Christians should homeschool. Refreshingly, they don't broach the subject with the evangelistic zeal of many a homeschooling parent.

My wife is a public school teacher. Currently, she teaches high school kids "one on one" who cannot go to school due to injury or illness. Also, she teaches at a drug and alcohol rehab for teenagers. This has borne fruitful evangelistic ministry. One of those kids came to Christ, and is now leading worship at several churches. Pray for Christian teachers.

That said, we don't homeschool. Our daughter is six, and our son is two. It hasn't appealed to us. Counterpoint: lots of responsibilities don't appeal to Christians, yet we should engage in them anyway.

We don't want to invest the time and money. Counterpoint: this is unloving, and homeschooling is relatively cheap. Take up the cross, brother.

We actually enjoy breaks from our children. Don't get me wrong, we have have never used day care. We are essentially self-employed, and contour our schedule in such a way that enables us to be with our kids whenever they are not in school. In fact, we have sacrificed greater income to do this. No big deal, I know, but I didn't want to give a wrong impression. Counterpoint: though honest, this approach is selfish, unloving, and we shouldn't abdicate our responsibilities, and shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

We have found an excellent charter school. We don't like the quality of the public school down the street, and Christian schools seemingly want us to go into debt to send our children to them. Thus far, my daughter hasn't come home asking about Heather and her two mommies, and she is a candidate for the gifted student program. Several times, she has talked about God openly, and has been writing about Him in her little projects. There has been no prohibition against this. Counterpoint: Your daughter is outmanned, and will ultimately be swayed from Christ. Why do you lend your kid to the world for several hours a day?

Her teachers have been excellent, and our house church got the opportunity to purchase several presents for foster children the school was "adopting" during Christmas. The teacher asked why we had taken on so many kids. My wife shared Christ with her. Counterpoint: oh, so you house church, but don't homeschool? Hypocrite.

Her schooling has afforded other opportunities to evangelize. Counterpoint: okay, we'll give you a pass on this one.

Who knows, maybe we will homeschool someday. Counterpoint: the longer you wait, the more damage is done to your children. Are you even saved?

Anyway, that's my three cents . . .

[Guest]

My wife and I do not yet have children. However, we have discussed the subject, and I will briefly list only those points that do not favor home school.

1) Public school is a poor choice for any Christian parents. There are christian parents who cannot home school their children for various reasons (i.e. divorced single parent). Therefore, it is good to support the existance of private christian schools by using them.

2) The education of children is a big responsibility. A parent may not had a love for reading or learning textbook knowledge. Thus, there would be some concern that one would not do a 'good job' of educating children.

3) Perhaps the personality of the child and parent conflict in such a way that it makes the teaching relationship difficult. Counterpoint: A private/public school teacher may very well have equal difficulty. The problem would have to be resolved anyway, because parents are responsible to teach their children outside of school.

[Guest]

It is interesting that my nephew, a public school teacher whose wife home-schooled their children, was criticized in this manner:

"The public school isn't good enough to send his children to, but it's good enough to put bread and butter on his table!"

I have a friend who faces this same situation. He is a public educator and he and his wife decided to home school their children as well. However, he didn't become a teacher to put bread and butter on his table, he did it because he wanted to make a difference in the lives of other kids. That doesn't mean he has to throw his kids into the mess. I disciple men in prison, but that doesn't mean I want my kids to get their bible training there as well.

In my mind, the bottom line is that each parent is responsible before God how each child He has entrusted to them is trained up. (prov 22:6)

There may be many pros and cons for both parents and children for each of the different modes of education, but ultimately, I see it as my responsibility as a parent to make sure that I have done everything in my power to assist my children in fulfilling the purpose God made them for.

We have very little control over the public education system which has become an unwieldly mammoth of a machine (with a different agenda than mine it would seem). Private schools offer a better alternative, but there are still many limitations and kids will almost certainly pick things up from non-Christian peers. Homeschooling provides the highest degree of control, but also the greatest burden of time and energy.

Whatever method is chosen, I think all would agree that it's most important to seek God's leading in the matter since it's ultimately Him that we will have to give an answer to.

[Guest]

I'm a public school teacher, too. There's a perception that we teachers are against homeschooling. I don't think that we are -- at least I have no prejudice, but maybe some people do. I wish more people would homeschool their children, it might reduce the size of our classes! Also, I can appreciate that the best learning happens in a smaller teacher/student ratio and a family is much smaller than a classroom filled with children.

As far as the difference between private christian school and public school, I personally preferred the public schools I've worked in and my kids attended to the private school I worked in and that my daughter attended. Of course that's just one school and their problems may have been unique.

[Guest]

Whoops, that was me.