Very Serious Topic.....

Post by **_IlovetheLord** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:52 am

This is something I have been coming across alot.

I hope people take the time to talk about this because it is a serious issue that damages lives.

Many people I have come across were sexually abused when they were kids/teens, and affects life today. Marriages are damaged because there is no intimacy because it is viewed as wrong or evil.

The abused at times become abusers and the cycle goes on.

How do we as the church deal with such a thing?

Post by **_Anonymous** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 8:44 am

How do we as the church deal with such a thing?

I don't have an answer, sorry.

I'm not exactly sure what you are asking either. Do you mean how do we deal with abusers, or how do we deal with hurt individuals who were victims of crimes, or are you talking about marriage counseling for couples who don't share intimacy?

Post by **_Anonymous** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:35 am

Richad?

Post by **_IlovetheLord** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:25 pm

Both really.

Post by **_STEVE7150** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:23 pm

Perhaps these people feel betrayed by their fellow man and by God and therefore have low self worth and sadness and depression that can manifest in anger also. I think the answer is to somehow bring them to believe and feel the love of Christ which ultimately will help a person feel they are loved and have much value in the eyes of God.

Post by **_Anonymous** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:31 pm

Sexuality is a tricky subject because I can never appreciate any experience other than my own, and so I can't imagine being so damaged by an early experience that a person would abhor intimacy. The love of God is immense and wonderful, but just saying "Oh, honey, God loves ya!" doesn't seem to be quite enough for someone that hurt. I guess that would be the same for the victim of any crime or tragedy. There just seems to be more that should be done. What, I don't know because, again, I have a hard time with this subject.

It must be hard for a spouse too. I would guess that after a while they would feel quite rejected. Perhaps they would be sad and depressed as well. Reassurances of God's love seem like they would fall a little short there as well.

I don't know much about marriage counseling. Maybe there are good Christian counselors who would be helpful to these people.

As for perpetrators of abuse; sexually abusing anyone is a sin and a crime and they should be dealt with by the authorities. If they are in the church, they should be disciplined according to the Bible.

Forgiveness seems like an important consideration, too.

Just my opinions...

Post by **_STEVE7150** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:41 am

You're right of course but i did'nt exactly say just tell them "God loves ya" but ultimately believing that in their spirit is really the only thing that will let them truly forgive and let go. It's just a process, little by little over time.

Post by **_Anonymous** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:56 pm

STEVE7150 wrote:You're right of course but i did'nt exactly say just tell them "God loves ya" but ultimately believing that in their spirit is really the only thing that will let them truly forgive and let go. It's just a process, little by little over time.

Sorry, Steve, I knew what you meant. I get a little worried when I hear that someone's self-esteem just needs to be bolstered and everything will be ok. I didn't think that was what you were saying, though.

Post by **_Anonymous** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:10 pm

i am a house-parent for a group home with adolescents who are all registered sex offenders, the majority of them have been severely abused... got put up for adoption, and then once in their adoptive family's have abused another child younger than them, there have even been cases of children who were sexually abused at 1 - 4 years old, and then 10 years later, abuse someone else, and they claim to not have any memories of being abused themselves, it is definately a sick cycle, because these kids have abused someone and are now going thru extensive mental treatment that really takes away their chance to be a normal child, in many cases the children that they have abused end up abusing another, and then they too get put into treatment, so it is definately a sick sick cycle, the organization i work with is a certain denomination, but the only reason that denomination is tagged onto the organization seems to be only for financial reasons, but all the psychology we use isnt biblical, and these kids are swimming in perscription pills, our success rate is higher than other organizations in the same field, and our success rate is about 20 percent... which is amazing because the average is about 9 percent

what i think the church should do, is pray that these kids can meet the right people because they are very easily influenced, so they need good Christian role models, these kids are dying for attention, the kids i work with have been thru all the psychological treatment, and are now being integrated back to society and going to public school, and every week i see these kids go thru a different phase of self worth, their moods really rely more on what has happened at school, we can pray that God will bring us in contact with these kids whether at a young age, or when their older, and that the gospel can penetrate their heart and relieve their pain, many of the kids i work with despise God, and they openly profess it a lot, i believe that i've seen real demon manifestations in some of the things these kids say, and we are trained to put kids in "therapeutic holds" when they are trying to hurt themselves or others, and it took 3 big men to hold down a 7 year old little girl! all the staff are not allowed to mention God, or try to evangelize to the kids, so the only way we can is to be Christ-like to them...

all we can pray for is divine intervention, and seek out places we can help.

in Christ,
Devin