My grandma and I have been attending a Victory Outreach church and I need some help decidng wheter to leave .Recently my grandma volunteered to hold bible studies in our home .The pastor and his wife accepted and we agreed it would be wednsday of the following week.My grandma and i spent that week getting our house ready.That sunday at church the pastors wife told us they would call and letn us know who the teacher was .Monday and Tuesaday went by and no one called .Wedsnday came and no one showed up.My grandma called the pastors wife and asked what happended.She said that she thought sister so ans so was going to cvall and sister so and so thought she(the pastors wife) was going to call.This is the second time we've been treated like this .The first was at christmas when the church was having a tree decorating and pot luck dinneo lr.We went and decorated the tree and got in line to be served food.When we were served we we could see the place wasnt any place to sit and no one invited us to sit down and join them .They were azll in thier cliques.We ended up eating in the parking lot .They saw us out there and no ne so much as talked to us.My grandma wanted to leave that church then but I said lrets give it time .Now im starting ti see I made a mistake.(I shouldve know we were in trouble when I saw a book by TD Jakes in the church bookstore) .I'm feeling conflicted about leaving .My brother in law said maybe this was The Lords way of showing us that this was the wonr chuirch.I would really appreciate some advice on this.
God Bless
Mario
in need of advice.
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_Anonymous
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in need of advice.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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Well, speaking somewhat from personal experience (because I know someone personally who attended a church that did things like this to them), I want to add my two cents here.
First of all, many of them probably don't understand that what they're doing is wrong. They're not being deliberately unkind, but rather they're just insensitive to your situation. The ones who do know better either don't care or are too cowardly to stand up and say something. Since that's the case, you need to take care in how you handle this situation.
Secondly, if you just walk away from this situation without saying anything, the people there will continue to be unaware of the problem they have and will thus continue to be insensitive to anyone else who might come along. So if you don't take a stand for what's right, you'll share some of the responsibility for their shortcomings. (See Ezekiel 33:1-19 for an example of this.)
The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to KINDLY - but firmly - take a stand. Approach the pastor and ask what happened. Why were you treated the way that you were? How come no one - including the pastor - could see that this bothered you? Finally, why hasn't the pastor taught his flock to be more sensitive?
If they just give excuses, then call them for what they are. Excuses. Say, are you saying it's okay to make excuses for being offensive, and I should just accept that? It's okay that I was offended to the point of wanting to leave this church because of what happened? Is that Christian behavior?
And then, if they suggest that you do leave, then just say that once you leave, you'll be taking the witness of truth with you. If they want you to go because they aren't willing to listen to you and they don't want to hear the truth, then they'll be held accountable by God instead. They won't be able to dismiss God so easily, so they should seriously consider listening to you and repenting from the heart.
To conclude, if the pastor won't hear you, then talk to the deacons. If they won't hear you, tell your situation to the laypeople. If they won't hear you, then leave them all in God's hands.
That's what I would do if I were you.
Damon
First of all, many of them probably don't understand that what they're doing is wrong. They're not being deliberately unkind, but rather they're just insensitive to your situation. The ones who do know better either don't care or are too cowardly to stand up and say something. Since that's the case, you need to take care in how you handle this situation.
Secondly, if you just walk away from this situation without saying anything, the people there will continue to be unaware of the problem they have and will thus continue to be insensitive to anyone else who might come along. So if you don't take a stand for what's right, you'll share some of the responsibility for their shortcomings. (See Ezekiel 33:1-19 for an example of this.)
The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to KINDLY - but firmly - take a stand. Approach the pastor and ask what happened. Why were you treated the way that you were? How come no one - including the pastor - could see that this bothered you? Finally, why hasn't the pastor taught his flock to be more sensitive?
If they just give excuses, then call them for what they are. Excuses. Say, are you saying it's okay to make excuses for being offensive, and I should just accept that? It's okay that I was offended to the point of wanting to leave this church because of what happened? Is that Christian behavior?
And then, if they suggest that you do leave, then just say that once you leave, you'll be taking the witness of truth with you. If they want you to go because they aren't willing to listen to you and they don't want to hear the truth, then they'll be held accountable by God instead. They won't be able to dismiss God so easily, so they should seriously consider listening to you and repenting from the heart.
To conclude, if the pastor won't hear you, then talk to the deacons. If they won't hear you, tell your situation to the laypeople. If they won't hear you, then leave them all in God's hands.
That's what I would do if I were you.
Damon
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
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