Mothers and boys

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darinhouston
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Mothers and boys

Post by darinhouston » Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:05 am

Does anyone know of a book or other resource I could recommend for a mom who thinks she's "losing" or "failing" her 4 year old boy to understand boys and tips on raising them ?

The only books I've seen on the subject are either really general for moms and dads alike (e.g., James Dobson's Bringing up Boys) or are geared to single mom's handling issues that are unique to a mom without a dad around.

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Michelle
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by Michelle » Sat Feb 27, 2010 2:48 pm

Sorry, Darin, I don't really have any suggestions, and I suddenly realize that I raised my kids without reading a single book on how to raise them. (One more thing to feel guilty about, I suppose.)
darinhouston wrote:Does anyone know of a book or other resource I could recommend for a mom who thinks she's "losing" or "failing" her 4 year old boy to understand boys and tips on raising them ?

The only books I've seen on the subject are either really general for moms and dads alike (e.g., James Dobson's Bringing up Boys) or are geared to single mom's handling issues that are unique to a mom without a dad around.
You seem to be asking for a book that's not for single mothers and not for married mothers who partner with their husbands in child-rearing, so I'm not really sure what you're looking for...

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Jepne
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by Jepne » Sat Feb 27, 2010 4:50 pm

Here are some links to the folks who wrote "To Train up a Child", Michael Pearl and his wife. They and their grown children have wonderful articles about their interactions with their children. A quote from them that has stayed with me is, "Rules without relationship breed rebellion." See what you think.

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... y-brother/

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... they-love/

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... ee-choice/
"Anything you think you know about God that you can't find in the person of Jesus, you have reason to question.” - anonymous

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darinhouston
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by darinhouston » Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:05 am

Thanks -- I know the Pearls work and have read some of their "magazines" over the years. Michele, no - she's looking for something for a mom who is partnering with her husband. The "single mom" ones tend to deal with "replacing the father" stuff -- the ones to "couples" are either written to dads about being a man or to both and very general about boys being different from girls, but looking for something written to mom's just so they better understand their boys (a "women are from mars men from venus" sort of thing but on the level of young boys and not grown men.)

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Michelle
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by Michelle » Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:41 am

Like this: Mothers and Sons: Raising Boys to Be Men?

or this: That's My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character?

Not that I've read either, as I mentioned before, so I don't know how good they are...

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darinhouston
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by darinhouston » Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:19 am

Looks good - I'll check them out (and read the referenced articles from the Pearls.

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Jepne
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by Jepne » Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:25 am

Those look interesting Michelle -

Here's a whole bunch at Amazon, including those - I found the reviews very helpful.

I especially appreciate the negative reviews when considering a book.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss? ... &x=15&y=18

That's My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character? had 31 reviews, the other, nine.
"Anything you think you know about God that you can't find in the person of Jesus, you have reason to question.” - anonymous

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darinhouston
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by darinhouston » Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:35 pm

I'm really surprised by how many female friends I have who make facebook posts about their sons and how hard it is to figure them out when the girls are so easy. There are some who post frequent comments about how cool their "older" sons are and how much they love spending time with them playing baseball, etc., but that's after the first 5 or so years which are so important. I think women today tend to have lost a "mothering" instinct. The girls are easy to them because they relate to them (ok, they do tend to be easier), and they seem to take it personally when boys act like -- well -- boys and have more trouble "staying calm and quietly playing with trucks like a girl would play with a doll. I think part of it is because they have come to admire weak effeminate men, and the respect and admiration a woman used to have for a strong man has given way to metrosexuals who will hang out with them doing things they like to do just like their girlfriends but less judgmental. It's no wonder they don't "get" their boys.

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Michelle
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by Michelle » Sun Feb 28, 2010 5:00 pm

darinhouston wrote:I'm really surprised by how many female friends I have who make facebook posts about their sons and how hard it is to figure them out when the girls are so easy. There are some who post frequent comments about how cool their "older" sons are and how much they love spending time with them playing baseball, etc., but that's after the first 5 or so years which are so important. I think women today tend to have lost a "mothering" instinct. The girls are easy to them because they relate to them (ok, they do tend to be easier), and they seem to take it personally when boys act like -- well -- boys and have more trouble "staying calm and quietly playing with trucks like a girl would play with a doll. I think part of it is because they have come to admire weak effeminate men, and the respect and admiration a woman used to have for a strong man has given way to metrosexuals who will hang out with them doing things they like to do just like their girlfriends but less judgmental. It's no wonder they don't "get" their boys.
That's an interesting theory, Darin, which I think has some validity.

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Jepne
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Re: Mothers and boys

Post by Jepne » Sun Feb 28, 2010 5:38 pm

Amen, Darin. I enjoyed so much Michael Pearl's tape on which he talks about being with his boys. I found it very refreshing.

There is nothing like us people when we are the way we were meant to be.

"Metrosexuals" - that's a good one! Sounds like Seinfeld and friends when he was telling George something like, "We're not men. Real men have families and children. . . ."
"Anything you think you know about God that you can't find in the person of Jesus, you have reason to question.” - anonymous

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