May I first say that I'm sorry you had to go through the situation with that church. A couple of years into my Christian walk I ended up in a "mentoring" situation that turned my thinking into knots as well. It somewhat paralyzed me in my Christian life. My "mentor" created a vast array of hoops to jump through. It was the worst experience of my life...period. I can understand to a degree what your going through. I pray that God will help you through.
I don't say this as a prophecy but I'm pretty certain that Jesus understands your plight completely. He's fully aware of all the jargon you've been fed and your desire to sift through it all. I pray that at the end you'll see nothing but Christ and know that you are his forever. May you find this rest in him.I have been coming away from this mentality for the last couple years and I guess am alittle bit confused still on the balance.
Praying for you brother