Paidion,
Good posts
Otherwise, I found 2 links on Forgiveness:
Mistranlated Words of the Bible
(click also "Forgiveness" article)
excerpted
Forgiveness
Another important Bible word that has changed meaning in the English language is "forgive". In the Bible it always refers to debt cancellation. We owe God a debt of obedience and (ahem) grovelling, and we don't pay what we owe. The past is past, there's no going back, but God is merciful: He cancels the debt -- but only if you want Him to, and only if you are willing to do the same for others [Matt.6:15].
Somehow we have gotten the notion that forgiveness is getting rid of the bitter resentment at being hurt and feeling good about the relationship. That's a good and useful (and Biblical) thing to do, but the Bible does not call it "forgiveness"(bold, mine). Forgiveness is the specific and Godly response to a person's repentance; it is neither commanded nor reasonable to cancel the debt for (that is, forgive) somebody who continues in their destructive behavior. It is commanded to love your enemies and pray for them and not seek revenge -- but that is never called "forgiveness" in the Bible. For a longer exposition on what it means to "forgive as God forgave us" see my essay on Forgiveness.
The anger, resentment, and bitterness is an emotional response, and we can choose to control our emotions. Unlike reconciliation, which only happens if both parties want it, how you choose to feel about the other person is entirely up to you. Bitterness will eat your gut (literally, in the form of ulcers and colitis) and you must get past it. Doing good for the other person -- especially when they don't deserve it -- is a wonderful way to change your attitude. Doing it in secret, without them knowing who did it, is wonderful fun and a great way to get past the bitterness. But if we insist on calling this process "forgiveness" then we need a different word to translate the Greek word used in the Bible.
from a sermon on Forgiveness by Philip Edwards (I like the sermon but do not necessarily go with all of Edwards' other beliefs):
Before we look at the Greek words translated into our English word "forgive," let’s make sure we’re all on the same page in our understanding of what it means to forgive and what the subject of forgiveness entails.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, forgive means: 1) to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; to stop being angry with; to pardon; 2) to give up all claim to punish or exact penalty for (an offense); to overlook; 3) to cancel or remit (a debt).
Webster’s definition of debt is: 1) something owed by one person to another or others; 2) an obligation or liability to pay or return something; 3) the condition of owing; 4) Theologically, a sin.
Let’s look to see if the Greek words equate with our understanding of the English words.
The Greek word translated debt is Strong’s number 3783. It is opheilayma and it means that which is owed, a debt. We can see that’s in line with our English understanding.
The Greek word translated forgive is Strong’s number 863. It is aphiaymi, and it means to send away, leave alone, or permit. Well, that’s a bit different than our understanding of the English word "forgive."
The one Greek word aphiaymi occurs more than 100 times in the New Testament and is translated allow, leave, left, let, let alone, permission, and forgive. Most of the time, though, it is translated as forgive or left.
So, we can see that the concept of the word for forgiveness also incorporates permission and leaving alone. That’s important to recognize because we’ll discover that forgiveness also has to do with sending away and letting go of offenses....
...Forgiveness includes mercy and compassion; but the real meanings of the words show that forgiveness includes the "sending away" of the sins or offenses as well as the "pardoning" or the "release from bondage" of the penalty of sinning.
I know this is a lot of stuff to post.
In light of it, anyway, I have "forgiven" people by simply leaving them be,
permitting them to be who they are (which might involve not going around them also). Though they have offended me...that's okay to me now...as I no longer hold it against them in a way that hampers or disrupts my life. Were they wrong? Yes. Does that fact "rule" my life? (am I bitter)? No.
I've heard this as one definition of "forgiveness":
"No matter what has been done to me and how badly I was hurt -- I now release them to live their life -- as I, also, now go on freely with mine." I've done this in cases where there is no repentance (if they refuse to, may be dead or otherwise inaccessible, or if I have problems on holding a grudge)!!! LEAVE-IT.
It's like the offense no longer really matters.
They (who did it and what they did) get "left behind"...."released"..."let go"....
Sounds too simple to be doable almost, doesn't it?
(but it IS doable through the Lord), Amen!
Rick
P.S. To borrow from the 12 step folks again: When someone harbours resentments inside I have heard it said to them,
"How much rent are they paying to live inside your head?"
(um, usually they aren't paying any rent to do that...just an interesting thought on it, imo, lol)....
