Just my idea? (changing churches)

[ryan]

Hi all,

Some background... I've attended the same church my entire life (I'm 30 years old). Although I can pick out some issues here and there where I disagree with the church's traditional theological and practical positions, I'm not losing any sleep over those differences. It's a small, country church, and I enjoy being able to teach a Sunday school class there, and do anything else I can to edify the body. I love my brothers and sisters in this congregation.

That said, for the past couple of years, I've had an inkling in my head that I should move on to another congregation. I really have no specific congregation location in mind, and I really have no strong reason for leaving my current congregation. About a year ago, the urge was very strong, and I couldn't shake it. I talked with my wife about it one day, and decided that I would fast and pray about it for a week, and see how I felt about it then. After doing so, the strong urge did seem to leave me.

However, that idea still seems to linger in my mind, though not with the urgency that it had before fasting. Most days I entertain it for awhile.

I guess I'm just looking for some insight on what I should make of this. At times I suspect it's the nudge of God, pointing me to that direction... but most times I just wonder if it's just an idea of my own that my brain won't let go of. Since I was a teenager, I always had an inkling that I wouldn't be in my current church for my entire life... but, I always considered that to be just a thought. I sometimes wonder if that "years ago" line of thinking is just influencing my current thoughts about the matter. I'm slow to want to attribute the idea to God... just because I seem to hear God getting the "blame" for a lot of decisions that I think are really just up to people to make as part of their own free will.

Any thoughts? Anyone ever been in the same boat?

Thanks, and God bless!
-Ryan

[mattrose]

Hey

Short of clear leading from the Lord... I'd stay. I think we get restless a lot of times in our culture due to the addiction our culture has for change. I have a deep respect for people who stick through the thick and thin. It sounds like you have a pretty good church family and are using your gifts in ministry. You're at a point in your life where you could be a real influence and aid to the ministry of that church.

Now I know you probably shouldn't BASE your decision on this, but one thing I'd think you should consider is whether your departure would be good for your church. It sounds like the church has invested quite a bit over the years in guiding you to being a mature younger Christian man. Perhaps they should have enough of a right to reap some reward from that given that you don't specifically feel called and have no compelling reason for leaving? What's more, if a devoted Christian (and one who is in a teaching position) leaves the church for pretty much no solid reason, what sort of mood does that leave behind for the rest of the church family.

Perhaps you are just curious. Maybe you could visit some other churches when you're out of the area and see if your reasons for feeling restless gain clarity.

Just my 2 cents

[ryan]

Just my 2 cents

Thanks for your input, Matt. I really appreciate it. The effect leaving would have on the church has definitely been a restraint so far on executing the idea. I wouldn't want to damage the body in any way.

I have at times wondered if visiting some other churches would help to "get it out of my system"... hah. That's just easier said than done, since it's not too often I'm out of the area, and would have an easy out for not being at my own church.

[Choosethisday]

Ryan, just to give you some perspective take a look at my posting "serious questions about international adoption". Since posting the situation has become even more of an issue. In the meantime my wife and I have looked at a few other churches. In all of our looking, even with the issues at our home church, we simply can't find any other church that in some way or other doesn't have even more issues. I say all this to give you some my perspective from what is possibly an even more uncomfortable situation. Your church may not be perfect and all but it might well be the best one there is, at least for you. Plus, to give up all of the close relationships you almost certainly have developed would likely be quite painful. I suggest you do what we have been doing, and that is to once a month or so visit other bodies of believers. You may find that your church looks better than you thought it did.
Don

[ryan]

Ryan, just to give you some perspective take a look at my posting "serious questions about international adoption". Since posting the situation has become even more of an issue. In the meantime my wife and I have looked at a few other churches. In all of our looking, even with the issues at our home church, we simply can't find any other church that in some way or other doesn't have even more issues. I say all this to give you some my perspective from what is possibly an even more uncomfortable situation. Your church may not be perfect and all but it might well be the best one there is, at least for you. Plus, to give up all of the close relationships you almost certainly have developed would likely be quite painful. I suggest you do what we have been doing, and that is to once a month or so visit other bodies of believers. You may find that your church looks better than you thought it did.
Don

Thanks for your input, Don. I appreciate it. I know that I could never find a "perfect" church that would meet every criteria that I'd like to see. There are times I think that maybe I could be an agent of change for things within my home church, where an area may be lacking, but, I'll tell you, that's easier said than done! I know that no one likes change, though, so I try not to let it bother me too much. Those areas where I feel things may be lacking don't really seem to be driving my thoughts of going elsewhere, though, but I'm thankful for your thoughts... they help me to stay grounded and appreciate what I have... not what "could be"...

[Choosethisday]

Ryan, whatever you do may I suggest you go through the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement first. This may sound like an unrelated idea so please let me explain. Perspectives is often thought of as only pertaining to missions. While it does pertain to missions it is also so much more. My wife and I just recently finished Perspectives. Before going through the course we had read many books on missions, gone to several missions conferences, gone on several short term missions, and even went through the Kingdom Expansion 101 course. I thought I understood missions and wouldn't gain much from Perspectives. Wow, was I wrong. There is so much more to missions than I thought. But beyond that, it also made us reavaluate our place and obligations to God's Kingdom. This is because so much of the course is designed to do just that and to make us think about our role in the Kingdom. And this should be the first priority in any decisions we make, in any area of life. I don't know if we would be attending where we attend now or not if we were to do it again. What I do know is my first thoughts would be on where I could attend to be best serve God. So I highly recommend you go through the course before making any more important decisions. I am pretty certain your view of your purpose in God's Kingdom will never be the same.
Don

[psimmond]

Although i haven't gone through "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement," I love what Choosethisday said about choosing:

...my first thoughts would be on where I could attend to best serve God

[Jepne]

Just my thoughts: I never saw it as 'attending church', so I cannot 'change churches'. Church is being involved with other people's lives, spiritually but also practically. It is just not a Sunday morning deal - which you might know already, but the word 'attend' says differently. I've been to a lot of different fellowships, but always looking for the Body of Christ. I need to develop this idea but time is short right now.

When it is time to consider leaving your church, God will give the grace to say goodbye, you will be so excited and occupied with what may lie ahead. It sounds like God is nudging you to consider some things. I hope you will keep us posted.

[Homer]

Ryan,

You wrote:

There are times I think that maybe I could be an agent of change for things within my home church, where an area may be lacking, but, I'll tell you, that's easier said than done! I know that no one likes change, though, so I try not to let it bother me too much.

People can like change but you are right - it is easier said than done. The way to get them to like it is to get them involved in the change process, from the inception, to the point where the change becomes their idea. And this takes skill and patience that most do not have. It may take planting a seed in the right soil.

[morbo3000]

Something that might pique your curiosity.. my church involvement.

My family is involved in 6 churches. Not out of animosity to any. And we don't feel we are spreading ourselves thin relationally. This has happened as a result of lots of circumstances and decisions. Here's the run down.

I've been a Mennonite church in a local church plant and congregation in Idaho. While planting, a nearby Mennonite church took us under their wing and helped us both financially and practically. They are basically family. However, they are over a half hour drive from us. So, we attend about once a month when I am responsible for music.

I've been hired to play the piano at a Lutheran church twice a week. This congregation and worship style really fit what is meaningful to me. They meet at 8:30 am. (!).

Since I'm paid to be there, and it wouldn't really fit my family, I can leave and attend church with my wife and children. When we aren't at the Mennonite church, we attend a local contemporary service church plant that started in a theater and is now meeting in the theater of the High School.

I have three teenagers who attend youth groups. One, my senior son soon to be graduating, is interested in ministry and has gotten annoyed with shallowness in one youth group, and judgmentalism in another. He's the most "church-hopping" of our family, leaving because he didn't like something. The other two attend a youth group where my daughter is involved in music ministry, and my son is growing.

Finally.. none of these had a small group ministry. I had friends from a neighbor town who had a small group in their house sponsored by their home church. I attend every sunday night, and my wife joins me when she isn't working.

The Lutheran church I play at, and the small group my wife and I attend are the most edifying in the sense that we are built together as the body of christ, as iron sharpens iron, and all that. And if I was going to go someone for spiritual counsel, it would be the friends who lead that small group, and the pastor of the Lutheran Church. We are at the other places for the opportunity to worship and hear preaching, to minister and out of fellowship with other Christians.

Some key principles to this.
- We aren't church hopping. We love the people in all these places.
- We aren't going to church to "get fed." I agree with the statement I've heard before that spiritually mature Christians are self-feeding. The preaching of the word is supplementary, not essential. So, really.. the Mennonite church's preaching does nothing for me. Actually, the worship doesn't either. But we are in fellowship with these people which is more important to "what we get" out of the service.
- We are ministering where we can. Instead of going where we can get.. we are going where we can give.
- We are putting ourselves in spiritual community with a few people who we can go to with our needs, and who could call us out if we were in sin.

I'm sure this is a curiosity to many people. But it works really well for us. It could work with you. You don't have to dis-fellowship yourselves from one "body" to be a part of another. The only thing that will get in the way of that is a congregation that feels it is unspiritual for you to be fellowshiping with two different groups. But biblically, there is nothing wrong with that.

- Jeff