Hi Homer,
Thank you for expressing your thoughts about my position. Please pardon me for delaying my response. I did so for two reasons—I happened to be occupied with many things at the time, and didn't want to give a hurried or perfunctory response, and secondly I was interested in what others might say to this paramount issue.
You wrote:Could you elaborate on what you mean by "restoration of relationship"?
Yes, I mean exactly that! When an offender truly repents (has a change of heart and mind), and the offended person grants true forgiveness (as opposed to mere pardon ie. letting go of his ill feelings toward the offender and not requiring restitution) ,then the relationship between the two individuals becomes as it was prior to the offence. With regard to their restored relationship, it is then just as if the offence had never occurred .
What if a young lady is dating a young man and on a date he rapes her? Would her forgiveness necessitate that she resume dating the man?
It would necessitate that he would have had a true repentance, a change of heart and mind concerning what he had done. The young lady could grant true forgiveness if she recognized the sincerity of his repentance. This could well result in the resumption of dating. I don't say that it
necessitates that aspect of their former relationship because there may be other factors involved in her choice not to do so. But those other factors would
not include a concern that he might rape her again. For if she thought that, then she did not truly forgive him.
Many other examples could be adduced that would call your understanding of forgiveness into question such as the bookkeeper who steals from his employer...
Again, if the bookkeeper truly repented and his employer recognized this as a real change of heart and mind, and granted true forgiveness, then he would trust that employer as he trusted him previously. As far as their restored relationship was concerned, it would be just as if he had never stolen.
...or the day care employee who molests a child.
Once again, if the employee TRULY repented and the parent of the child recognized this as genuine repentance (a change of heart and mind) and truly forgave him, he would then trust that employee not to repeat his crime, and would be willing to permit his child to be again under his care. If the parent couldn't trust him, then he didn't believe in the employee's declaration of repentance and didn't truly forgive him.
Can you cite a scripture for your understanding?
Consider that forgiveness of people, including God's forgiveness, seem to be conditional upon repentance:
Lu 17:3 “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
Lu 17:4 “And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
Ac 8:22 “Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.
Ac 26:18 ‘to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.’
In the case of the child molester, the parent might think, "Yes, I forgive him, but I'm not going to let him near
my child again!" What if God "forgave" you with such a condition? What if He said, "Yes, I forgive you, but don't bother praying to Me. I won't listen to your prayer, and I certainly won't answer it!" Would you be satisfied with that kind of "forgiveness"?