How the Grinch Stole the Forum
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:26 pm
How The Grinch Stole the Forum
(hats off to Dr. Seuss)
All the Narrow Path posters liked posting a lot...
But the Grinch, who lived just off the Path, did not.
The Grinch hated posting- from season to season
Please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.
It could be the Grinch grasped his views way too tight
Or perhaps status quo simply caused him delight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that his Grinch-view of fellowship was two sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, his heart or his views,
He sat just off the Path, crying the blues.
They’re growing in numbers, he snarled from his perch.
They’re discipling each other as if it were church!
The staff is committed, the topics are thriving...
Somehow I must keep this thing from surviving!!!
For, every day forum posters, adults, girls, and boys
Would hash out their questions with skill and with poise...
And Then! Oh the joys! Oh the joys! Joys! Joys! Joys!
That’s one thing he hated-- The joys! joys! joys! joys!
And the whole forum family at night, noon and morn
Share their stories of faith and of being reborn.
Then they’d post. And they’d post!
And they’d post! post! Post! Post!
They’d post thoughts and opinions- this never ceased.
A thing the Grinch could not stand in the least.
AND THEN almost daily they’d do something
He liked least of all!
All the forum faithful, the tall and the small
Were not satisfied with simply not knowing
They’d debate with each other and then they’d start growing!
They’d grow. And they’d grow! And they’d grow! grow! grow! grow!
And as the Grinch thought hard of the forum’s success,
The more that he thought, "I must stop the whole mess!"
"Why, for many long years I’ve put up with this now,
I must stop this thing from surviving-- but how??"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, AWFUL idea!
"I know just what I’ll do," the Beast laughed in his throat.
"I’ll just cause division and a discordant note!"
And he chuckled and clucked and thought in his head
By this time next week, this thing will be dead!
“All I need is a crisis.”
And he looked all around,
But since crises were scarce, there were none to be found.
Did this stop the Grinch?
Not at all! He just said,
"If I can’t find a crisis, I’ll make one instead."
So he called friend Divider and another pal, Pride,
And plotted to bring the forum down from inside.
Then he gathered pretenders and some ne’er-do-well phonies
‘Round a small PC screen-- then he called for his cronies.
He then said, “It’s time!!” And in the dead of the night,
They made their way in to the forum website.
And the forum was quiet-- not a “click” filled the air.
Not a soul was logged in- a condition quite rare.
He peered at the screen-an Announcement was there.
“This is step number one,” the Grinch said with a hiss.
Then he crossed the first item off of his list.
Then he hacked his way in- it wasn't a cinch--
But if techies could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He mis-typed only once, for a moment or two...
Then he gathered himself-- he had big things to do.
He saw several topics, all important to know
“These Announcements” he grinned, “are the first things to go.”
Then he slithered and slunk with a view most myopic
Around the whole room and he removed every topic.
He took comments and answers and posts of all kinds,
Various subjects for expanding our minds.
And he deleted them all. Then he looked to his side
To his friends who were watching-- Divider and Pride.
Calvinism/Arminianism was the next thing to nip--
Discussions refuting the points of TULIP.
Misc. Theo. Topics caused his anger to swell,
He took 17 pages debating three views of hell.
He removed all the stuff , that nasty old crab
“Eschatology,” said the Grinch, “is the next thing I’ll grab.”
As he worked his components and was turning about
His nerves were all rattled by a very loud shout.
He turned around fast and saw Steve Gregg, who
Was head honcho here-and was unhappy, too.
He stared at the Grinch and said,
“Why?” Why take Eschatology? Why??”
But you know-that Grinch was so smart and so slick,
That he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.
“Why, my dear teacher," the nasty Beast lied,
“This topic has a post that might serve to misguide.”
“So, I’m taking it off to correct it tonight,”
“I’ll fix it up there, and I’ll return it just right.”
And his fib fooled the teacher, and chuckling with glee
He gave Steve his notes about 70 A.D.
And when the teacher had walked on out of the door,
The Grinch returned to his work and deleted some more.
He worked and he worked, leaving no traces
He even took the cute smiley faces.
And the only thing left in the forum so bare
Was blank empty space, but the Grinch didn’t care.
“A curse on those fools,” he said with a glare.
“They’ll find out soon that their forum is bare!
They’re logging in now- I know just what they’ll do,
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
And those poor posters will all type BOO-HOO!!”
“That’s a sight,” grinned the Grinch, “That simply has to be seen!”
So he paused, and then he gazed at the screen.
And he did see words just beginning to show
They started out few, but then they started to grow!!
But these-- these postings weren’t sad!
Why, these posts appeared glad!!
Every soul in the forum, the tall and the small
Were posting without the old topics at all!
He hadn’t stopped the members from coming-- they came!!
For some reason or other, they came just the same.
And the Grinch- now beginning to fret
Stood puzzling and puzzling-“This-- this I don’t get!!”
"They came without topics! They came without debates!"
"They came without all the well-known give-and-takes!”
And he puzzled and puzzed ‘til his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of what he hadn’t before.
“This forum,” he thought, “isn’t just an ideas-war.”
“Maybe a forum--this forum-- is a little bit more.”
And what happened then??
Well, at the Narrow Path forum they say,
That his Grinch-heart for fellowship
Grew three sizes that day!
And then the true meaning of the forum shone through,
And the Grinch found the strength of ten posters-- plus two!!
With a smile in his soul he undid his bad act,
And Divider and Pride were cursorily sacked.
He gave back their topics, he gave back their views.
He brought back the debates, he brought back the news.
He brought back the humor, and in a very short spell
He returned 17 pages of “three views of hell.”
He brought everything back.
And even much greater
The Grinch, he himself, was dubbed moderator.
(hats off to Dr. Seuss)
All the Narrow Path posters liked posting a lot...
But the Grinch, who lived just off the Path, did not.
The Grinch hated posting- from season to season
Please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.
It could be the Grinch grasped his views way too tight
Or perhaps status quo simply caused him delight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that his Grinch-view of fellowship was two sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, his heart or his views,
He sat just off the Path, crying the blues.
They’re growing in numbers, he snarled from his perch.
They’re discipling each other as if it were church!
The staff is committed, the topics are thriving...
Somehow I must keep this thing from surviving!!!
For, every day forum posters, adults, girls, and boys
Would hash out their questions with skill and with poise...
And Then! Oh the joys! Oh the joys! Joys! Joys! Joys!
That’s one thing he hated-- The joys! joys! joys! joys!
And the whole forum family at night, noon and morn
Share their stories of faith and of being reborn.
Then they’d post. And they’d post!
And they’d post! post! Post! Post!
They’d post thoughts and opinions- this never ceased.
A thing the Grinch could not stand in the least.
AND THEN almost daily they’d do something
He liked least of all!
All the forum faithful, the tall and the small
Were not satisfied with simply not knowing
They’d debate with each other and then they’d start growing!
They’d grow. And they’d grow! And they’d grow! grow! grow! grow!
And as the Grinch thought hard of the forum’s success,
The more that he thought, "I must stop the whole mess!"
"Why, for many long years I’ve put up with this now,
I must stop this thing from surviving-- but how??"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, AWFUL idea!
"I know just what I’ll do," the Beast laughed in his throat.
"I’ll just cause division and a discordant note!"
And he chuckled and clucked and thought in his head
By this time next week, this thing will be dead!
“All I need is a crisis.”
And he looked all around,
But since crises were scarce, there were none to be found.
Did this stop the Grinch?
Not at all! He just said,
"If I can’t find a crisis, I’ll make one instead."
So he called friend Divider and another pal, Pride,
And plotted to bring the forum down from inside.
Then he gathered pretenders and some ne’er-do-well phonies
‘Round a small PC screen-- then he called for his cronies.
He then said, “It’s time!!” And in the dead of the night,
They made their way in to the forum website.
And the forum was quiet-- not a “click” filled the air.
Not a soul was logged in- a condition quite rare.
He peered at the screen-an Announcement was there.
“This is step number one,” the Grinch said with a hiss.
Then he crossed the first item off of his list.
Then he hacked his way in- it wasn't a cinch--
But if techies could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He mis-typed only once, for a moment or two...
Then he gathered himself-- he had big things to do.
He saw several topics, all important to know
“These Announcements” he grinned, “are the first things to go.”
Then he slithered and slunk with a view most myopic
Around the whole room and he removed every topic.
He took comments and answers and posts of all kinds,
Various subjects for expanding our minds.
And he deleted them all. Then he looked to his side
To his friends who were watching-- Divider and Pride.
Calvinism/Arminianism was the next thing to nip--
Discussions refuting the points of TULIP.
Misc. Theo. Topics caused his anger to swell,
He took 17 pages debating three views of hell.
He removed all the stuff , that nasty old crab
“Eschatology,” said the Grinch, “is the next thing I’ll grab.”
As he worked his components and was turning about
His nerves were all rattled by a very loud shout.
He turned around fast and saw Steve Gregg, who
Was head honcho here-and was unhappy, too.
He stared at the Grinch and said,
“Why?” Why take Eschatology? Why??”
But you know-that Grinch was so smart and so slick,
That he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.
“Why, my dear teacher," the nasty Beast lied,
“This topic has a post that might serve to misguide.”
“So, I’m taking it off to correct it tonight,”
“I’ll fix it up there, and I’ll return it just right.”
And his fib fooled the teacher, and chuckling with glee
He gave Steve his notes about 70 A.D.
And when the teacher had walked on out of the door,
The Grinch returned to his work and deleted some more.
He worked and he worked, leaving no traces
He even took the cute smiley faces.
And the only thing left in the forum so bare
Was blank empty space, but the Grinch didn’t care.
“A curse on those fools,” he said with a glare.
“They’ll find out soon that their forum is bare!
They’re logging in now- I know just what they’ll do,
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
And those poor posters will all type BOO-HOO!!”
“That’s a sight,” grinned the Grinch, “That simply has to be seen!”
So he paused, and then he gazed at the screen.
And he did see words just beginning to show
They started out few, but then they started to grow!!
But these-- these postings weren’t sad!
Why, these posts appeared glad!!
Every soul in the forum, the tall and the small
Were posting without the old topics at all!
He hadn’t stopped the members from coming-- they came!!
For some reason or other, they came just the same.
And the Grinch- now beginning to fret
Stood puzzling and puzzling-“This-- this I don’t get!!”
"They came without topics! They came without debates!"
"They came without all the well-known give-and-takes!”
And he puzzled and puzzed ‘til his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of what he hadn’t before.
“This forum,” he thought, “isn’t just an ideas-war.”
“Maybe a forum--this forum-- is a little bit more.”
And what happened then??
Well, at the Narrow Path forum they say,
That his Grinch-heart for fellowship
Grew three sizes that day!
And then the true meaning of the forum shone through,
And the Grinch found the strength of ten posters-- plus two!!
With a smile in his soul he undid his bad act,
And Divider and Pride were cursorily sacked.
He gave back their topics, he gave back their views.
He brought back the debates, he brought back the news.
He brought back the humor, and in a very short spell
He returned 17 pages of “three views of hell.”
He brought everything back.
And even much greater
The Grinch, he himself, was dubbed moderator.
