Suggestions for my sliding friend

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_Seth
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Suggestions for my sliding friend

Post by _Seth » Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:19 am

Hey all,

I have a dear friend who moved away several years ago and has steadily drifted from Christianity, to the point that he no longer considers himself Christian. He's been reading, almost exclusively, skeptical/liberal authors, which I'm sure doesn't help. He seems also to be trying to push his wife away with long discussions involving the following points (taken from an email from her to my wife):
What he said wrote:He now believes that anything that is true must be based on evidence of facts. There are no facts for the resurrection so he no longer believes that Jesus was resurrected and that there is no reality of salvation.

He believes that the Bible has good teachings but not all of it is true since there are not facts for many of the stories.

He does not believe that there is a personal God, since there is no explanation/logic for suffering of innocent children in the presence of a good and loving, interested and involved Lord.
Coming from an anonymous source, I'd write these off as typical skeptical rubbish, but when it's my friend...

I exchange emails with him on a fairly regular basis, and we see them once or twice a year (they're in Idaho), so I'm unlikely to have a long sit down with him anytime soon. To this point, I've taken the approach of bearing with his points of view and loving him. I've challenged him here and there, even reading some of the material he's read ("Who Wrote the Bible?" -> gak).

Not sure what I'm asking for...I'm not sure he's open to reading a Christian author at this point. But I'll still take suggestions about good books that address these matters, as long as they're not Strobel (I read them and sorta liked them, but no WAY will he read them). In particular, if anybody knows of non-Christian authors who might help, that'd be great. This is for me, too, since I'd like to equip myself so I can be used if possible.

Additionally, prayer for him would be much appreciated. I'll keep him anonymous, but he shares a name with the brother of a certain guy who wrote five important books at the very beginning of the Bible (unless you trust R.E. Friedman).

Thanks, friends.
-Seth
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_Allyn
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Post by _Allyn » Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:04 am

A situation like this, Seth, is always a peculiar one for me to ever understand. How can one who has once been enlightened by the faith in God give it up because of what he has read which provides no proof in itself that giving up God is the best way to go? How can one make such a choice and be satisfied with that choice? Faith, as the Bible says, is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Your friend, I suspect, has lost his hope, or it was not place correctly all along. I would further suspect that he is not searching for answers but instead is running from them. There must be a deeper reason for this change since you last were around him. He seems to have lost the substance of life, the soil that allows the roots of our belief to firmly grip to.

I have said a prayer for your friend and for you to deal with him as a friend and brother.
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_STEVE7150
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Post by _STEVE7150 » Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:45 am

He does not believe that there is a personal God, since there is no explanation/logic for suffering of innocent children in the presence of a good and loving, interested and involved Lord.


This is probably the #1 objection to a personal God "why do bad things happen to good people?"
The only answer is that God uses evil in this life for a greater good in the eternal life but to believe that you have to trust the God of the bible as he revealed himself through Jesus.
The evidence i might point to is that the fingerprints of God are everywhere. He creates creatures with virtually no brains that know where to migrate to mate and know where to migrate to die even though they have never been there , God creates ants that know how to precisely work together yet individually have virtually no brainpower. God creates seeds which die and then are born again into beautiful plants because all of it's instructions are built into the seeds. How does this happen? These are the fingerprints of God.
Paul compares our resurrection to these seeds and how the heck did Paul even know that seeds die?
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_Perry
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Post by _Perry » Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:24 am

Seth,
If you haven't already done so, I would recommend you check out Steve's "Authority of Scripture" series. You may want to listen and condense the information somewhat for presentation to your friend.
He believes that the Bible has good teachings but not all of it is true since there are not facts for many of the stories.
The testimony of reliable witnesses is considered factual, and is submissible as evidence in a court of law. This is why I suggest you go with the authority and reliability of scripture.

The other thing is that, as much as is in your power, be a light to him. (That would be great advice to the wife who wrote that e-mail as well.) This is no guarantee that your friend will come back around, but it is part of our obligation as christians.
Mat 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
I pray that you will be able to be a positive influence with your friend.

Good luck,
Perry
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_TK
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Post by _TK » Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:44 pm

If he's a guy that likes to read, see if he will read "A Pilgrim's Progress" by john bunyan. its a classic of literature, and it addresses so many obstacles to christianity in a unique way.

i've been reading it (shamefully i have never read it before) and i cant believe how good it is.

TK
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"Were not our hearts burning within us? (Lk 24:32)

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_Derek
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Post by _Derek » Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:05 am

He does not believe that there is a personal God, since there is no explanation/logic for suffering of innocent children in the presence of a good and loving, interested and involved Lord.
How does he account for his feeling that said suffering is wrong? In non-Christian world view, he has no real basis for thinking that it's morally wrong (or anything else for that matter).

If there is a loving, interested and involoved Lord, is it so unreasonable to think that He has a purpose for allowing suffering? I think that it is perfectly reasonable.

God bless,
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Derek

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.
Psalm 20:7

_MLH
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Post by _MLH » Sun Jul 08, 2007 1:06 am

Was he ever truly converted? Or, is he the parable of the sower and the seed?
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_Perry
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Post by _Perry » Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:36 am

MLH,

I don't see any value in proceeding on the assumption that Seth's friend is a lost cause.

Perry
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_Seth
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Post by _Seth » Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:28 pm

Thanks for all the input. TK, I'll definitely pick up "Pilgrim", since I haven't read it (it's sick and wrong for somebody who reads 50 books a year to admit that).

My friend grew up a Christian and in my experience with him (close friends, remember), he gave all the evidence of being a true believer. However, at some point he realized he had just basically "inherited" the faith of his family without ever questioning it. He then made the leap to "If I don't walk away from it, I'll never know if it's true." Now he's arrived at "It isn't true."

I think the "no personal God" thing was just for shock value, because it's such a tired argument. Last I spoke with him, he was only doubting the historic roots of Christianity.

Perry, I'll be sure to check out the Scripture series. I've listened to a couple of the sessions, but I'll go start to finish and let it sink in. I'll also do my best to "be a light" as you wrote. His wife is taking that approach, since she doesn't feel like she can go toe to toe with him intellectually. I think she's making a good choice in that regard.

Again, thanks for the advice and prayers.
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_Perry
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Post by _Perry » Mon Jul 09, 2007 10:00 am

Seth,

I'll be praying for you, your friend, and his wife.
His wife is taking that approach, since she doesn't feel like she can go toe to toe with him intellectually.
I think this is the right approach even if she felt that she could go toe-to-toe with him intellectually. My own experience, in myself and in others, is that the intellectual arguements like those of your friend, are often a strategy (perhaps without even realizing it) for masking a more fundamental issue.

It may well be that your friend is on the cusp of a spiritual breakthrough.

Perry
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