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Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:34 am
by Paidion
I don't know whether I have difficulty understanding plain English or not. It was my first language, and I did well in school. Notwithstanding, I have puzzled for decades over this sentence from the hymn "I need thee every hour". I've googled the sentence and found several INTEPRETATIONS of it, but I cannot find a simple rephrasing of it in current, non-poetic English. So I guess I have to admit my stupidity, and seek help.

The sentence is:

No tender voice like thine can peace afford.

Please, don't try to explain what it means. Just REPHRASE it in current English.

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:49 am
by Michelle
Here's my attempt:
No tender voice like thine can peace afford.
"No one else's words, no matter how sweet, even come close, Lord, to providing the peace that yours do."

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:39 pm
by RND
Michelle wrote:Here's my attempt:
No tender voice like thine can peace afford.
"No one else's words, no matter how sweet, even come close, Lord, to providing the peace that yours do."
Very nice! :D

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 1:27 pm
by TK
or , a little less flowery than Michelle's excellent re-wording:

"Your tender voice gives(affords) peace like none other."

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 2:30 pm
by Paidion
Thank for your attempt, Michelle. However, it seems to be an interpretation, similar to those which I read when I googled the phrase.

Thank you, TK! I think you did it! Now that I understand it's meaning, I was able to make the following attempt, which may correspond even closer to the original:

No [other] tender voice like yours can afford (give) peace.

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:01 pm
by Michelle
okie

*shrug*

I think TK went for word-for-word and I was going for dynamic equivalence. Sorry.

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:39 pm
by RND
Michelle wrote:okie

*shrug*

I think TK went for word-for-word and I was going for dynamic equivalence. Sorry.
Since you apparently win the consolation prize Michelle let me again reiterate that I think you "rephrased" the subject sentance extremely well! 8-)

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:43 pm
by TK
michelle-

i think you gave "The Message" version (i like The Message!) in fact that is exactly what i was thinking when i read your re-write. I agree with RND- yours seems to say it best in our modern language, even if it is a paraphrase!

TK

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 5:01 pm
by Suzana
This was my attempt (which I wrote out before I read everyone else's so I wouldn't cheat):

"no other voice be it ever so tender can offer me peace true" :shock:

Even more flowery than Michelle's! May be because we are women?

Re: Please rephrase this sentence

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 8:46 pm
by Paidion
Wow Suzana! Yours is not only flowery, but pretty literal as well! TK would probably congratulate you for having given the English Standard Version.

I really want to thank you all! I was too stupid to even know what the sentence meant, until you all enlightened me! Thanks again :D