The Narrow Path Ministries

Can unbelievers truly be considered married?

I was thinking about worldly attitudes towards marriage. It seems these days that among unbelievers, both parties are entering into "marriage" with the understanding that this union may not be life-long, and that any number of un-biblical reasons would be considered as valid for divorce. This is particularly true for couples who have pre-nups, but I think also true even in cases where there is no pre-nup.

With this twisted view of marriage (and I mean marriage in God's eyes, not the govt.), would it be reasonable to state that couples with this view, even while currently "married", would actually be committing fornication? And if so, then wouldn't it be impossible for them to become divorced (in God's eyes) since they weren't married in the first place?

Some would say that it is impossible for anyone to be divorced in God's eyes!

In any case, marriage has its origin in God, but divorce is a man-made act or state.

It's a difficult question, and I certainly don't have a definitive answer.

Can unbelievers truly be considered married?











Good question! I think they can be married under the laws of their government but if they are unbelievers then they have no covenant with God and i think that lack of covenant extends to marriage, a God ordained institution, therefore they probably are not married from a biblical perspective.
The question may be would God recognize a marriage if it does not conform to biblical standards. I would say no but i sure would like to hear other opinions.

My thoughts...

1. If we define marriage (as I think we should) as a covenant between 2 people and God, then NO, unbelievers aren't married in that sense.

2. That being said, unbelievers do enter in to what we would call social contracts. If they have little to no intention of actually staying faithfully together for life, I would consider the whole 'contract' simply a form of fornication and illegitimate in God's eyes.

3. But I would imagine that most non-Christians who enter into such a social contract intend to be faithful to that contract for the duration of their life (or the life of their partner). In such cases, the contract is a legitimate one and the breaking of it would be a serious matter. Perhaps rather than calling it 'adultery' (since there is no 'marriage before God' involved), it could be called simply a matter of sinful unfaithfulness.

4. Practically, if 2 non-believers entered into such a social contract (intending to be faithful) and then 1 of them became a believer... I think, at that point, the 'contract' becomes a 'marriage' from the point of view of the new believer. They should not seek to rid themselves of this contract and, in fact, should commit to keeping it as a Christian spouse.

I agree with all your points Matt.

I recognize that #3 exists, but I guess I was focusing on cases that fall outside of that criteria. I suppose most unbelievers "intend" to remain faithful, but I was looking at it more from the angle not of adultery splitting up a marriage, but lesser differences (un-biblical reasons for divorce). I was thinking that even if both parties remain faithful in a sexual sense, but dissolve a marriage for other reasons, that can't really be called a divorce, IF they both had it in their minds from the outset that these lesser factors would allow for "divorce". With that mindset going into the union, it was never a marriage in the first place, therefore fornication, therefore not possible to commit adultery through "divorce".

KyleB wrote:
Can unbelievers truly be considered married?

I think so. If the two promise to remain together and at least one of them wants the marriage to last a lifetime, then it is a marriage, I think. The use of the word marriage assumes these things, and people who are invited to witness the marriage ceremony would assume that the two are promising to remain married as long as either person lives, even if it's not explicitly stated (though it probably would be). That is still the implicit view of marriage by most people, I think. Even though most people might consider adultery/divorce more readily than we would, that doesn't mean that they aren't married, I think.

Jesus said the woman at the well (John 4) had husbands, which would imply that he viewed her and them as married, I think.

Also, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 would certainly imply that non-believers can commit adultery, I think, when Paul says that adulterers won't enter the kindgdom of God and that some of his readers were such ("such were some of you") before they were believers.

well said singalphile.

Singlaphile, I agree with your points as well.

I am thinking that I really should have narrowed my original question to a particular class of unbelievers who hold certain expectations of marriage, such as I listed in my response to Matt. I made it sound too much like I was suggesting that I was speaking of all unbelievers, which isn't what I intended. Sorry.

I hear you. I was probably kind of stating the obvious before. But even in the your narrower case, I think it would be really rare to have an actual marriage (ceremony or just a gov't license) without at least the hope that it would work out to be a lifelong relationship by at least one of the couple. Maybe it's tempting to think that these Hollywood people, for example, never have any intention of staying married, but I think they probably do.

It is an interesting question you've raised.

awesome man, is that a recent photo (addition) of you and your girls? either way congratulations kyle. my wife and i have two little girls, it's wonderful.

grace and peace.