Parenting (Mainly on being a Father)
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:46 am
My name's Steve and I'm a father of a three year old. I've been married 18 years and it took a long time for me to decide to have a child. My wife always wanted a child and I decided - after a long time - it wasn't right to take that away from her. Well, it's been three years since my son's birth and it's really tough. We live far from family, 3000 miles, but even if we were close to them they really wouldn't help. My wife was an orphan never adopted and I came from a broken family. My mother worked double shifts at a restaurant and I was raised by babysitters or older female siblings. My sister and I had a very undisciplined upbringing and were never taught boundaries.
Well, I could go on but I won't. I will say these things didn't help me craft a way to be a good parent. I have bought several books on parenting, but they are mostly pop psychology, current whims of the times. My son is very strong willed and hard to deal with at times. The thing is, if I try to raise my kid the way a book says, it seems the book is more the parent and not me, if that makes sense. I mean most of the things suggested in the books seem to go against my intuition or just make me feel like a bad parent because I'm doing it wrong (I guess that’s normal). My wife clashes with me in almost every way when it comes to dealing with my son. We are very different people and mostly I back down and let her deal with him so we don't fight.
I opened up this new topic because I need a place to go to for advice, Christian advice. I trust Steve Gregg's judgment but I won't bother him with every question about parenting. It's funny ... I sometimes wish Jesus had a kid so I would know what was the right way to raise a child. Like would Jesus spank, or yell (it seems he got frustrated with his Disciples sometimes), or do time outs (LOL). I know we are all God's children (Christians at least), and maybe there's some parallel teaching about how God deals with his kids and how I should deal with mine. But I guess I'm too dunce to see it. Sometimes when dealing with my son I wonder what Jesus would do. However, my judgment of what Jesus may do is just that ... MY JUDGMENT.
Anyway, I post this to all the Fathers out there in Steve's forum land to maybe help me (and each other perhaps) with advice and share stories.
First off, were there any really good books that help you with skills on parenting you children? Do you spank or time outs?
My kid doesn't like to sit at the dinner table and is a very picky eater. He's 3 so I don't always battle this one out. But sometimes it's very stressful at the dinner table to get him to eat and my wife and I end up fighting. No, my wife doesn't submit to my authority, she doesn't always think highly of me or my judgment. But that’s another story or maybe that is the story and part of the problem. I don't blame her for feeling that way. We are not the perfect or perhaps even the ideal Christian couple.
Well, that's all for now. I'll check back later to see if anyone responds to this post. Thanks ...
Well, I could go on but I won't. I will say these things didn't help me craft a way to be a good parent. I have bought several books on parenting, but they are mostly pop psychology, current whims of the times. My son is very strong willed and hard to deal with at times. The thing is, if I try to raise my kid the way a book says, it seems the book is more the parent and not me, if that makes sense. I mean most of the things suggested in the books seem to go against my intuition or just make me feel like a bad parent because I'm doing it wrong (I guess that’s normal). My wife clashes with me in almost every way when it comes to dealing with my son. We are very different people and mostly I back down and let her deal with him so we don't fight.
I opened up this new topic because I need a place to go to for advice, Christian advice. I trust Steve Gregg's judgment but I won't bother him with every question about parenting. It's funny ... I sometimes wish Jesus had a kid so I would know what was the right way to raise a child. Like would Jesus spank, or yell (it seems he got frustrated with his Disciples sometimes), or do time outs (LOL). I know we are all God's children (Christians at least), and maybe there's some parallel teaching about how God deals with his kids and how I should deal with mine. But I guess I'm too dunce to see it. Sometimes when dealing with my son I wonder what Jesus would do. However, my judgment of what Jesus may do is just that ... MY JUDGMENT.
Anyway, I post this to all the Fathers out there in Steve's forum land to maybe help me (and each other perhaps) with advice and share stories.
First off, were there any really good books that help you with skills on parenting you children? Do you spank or time outs?
My kid doesn't like to sit at the dinner table and is a very picky eater. He's 3 so I don't always battle this one out. But sometimes it's very stressful at the dinner table to get him to eat and my wife and I end up fighting. No, my wife doesn't submit to my authority, she doesn't always think highly of me or my judgment. But that’s another story or maybe that is the story and part of the problem. I don't blame her for feeling that way. We are not the perfect or perhaps even the ideal Christian couple.
Well, that's all for now. I'll check back later to see if anyone responds to this post. Thanks ...