Why won't we marry/given in marriage in the Resurrection?

[darinhouston]

In posting this question, I just noticed something for the first time. It may be a translation issue, but the verse doesn't appear to say we won't "be married." It only says we won't "marry" or "become married," so perhaps we will remain married if we were married before? Christ does suggest we'll be like the angels (presumably "as spiritual" and not physical beings), but Scripture elsewhere tells us we'll have physically resurrected bodies like Christ's, doesn't it?

Anyway, here's my question. If the resurrection life is to be a "paradise restored," then shouldn't we have the same sort of lives God intended for Adam & Eve and their progeny? Wasn't "marriage" a sacred institution from the beginning? It wasn't a result of the Fall, so why should it "go away" in eternity?

Apologies to Jimmy Buffett, but put this in the category of "questions that bother me so."

[TK]

this one bothers my wife a lot- for some reason she really wants to be married to me in heaven!

regardless, i cannot imagine not having some sort of a special relationship with my wife in heaven. but then again, i probably cant imagine heaven at all.

TK

[Suzana]

. It may be a translation issue, but the verse doesn't appear to say we won't "be married." It only says we won't "marry" or "become married," so perhaps we will remain married if we were married before?

Darin, I think you may be clutching at straws here!
Without studying the translations, I can think of a few issues your scenario would raise:
There would be inequality - what about all the singles who never had a chance to marry? might they not be jealous? (I know we won't be jealous in heaven, but still...they would be missing out on something good).
In the scenario that was presented to Jesus - what if the woman was happiest with her first, or fourth husband, and she's stuck with the last one for all eternity...and what about him? He might have only married her because it was his duty, when perhaps he really would have preferred someone else...
I can understand that happily married people would wish they could stay married, but I know some people who are completely incompatible, and eternity is a long time!

I tend to believe the statement of Jesus means there won't be any marriage at all as such, but since I think heaven will be better in all things than anything we have now, it won't be an issue, and surely we won't think we are missing out on anything - and look forward to finding out all about it!

[Michelle]

. It may be a translation issue, but the verse doesn't appear to say we won't "be married." It only says we won't "marry" or "become married," so perhaps we will remain married if we were married before?

Darin, I think you may be clutching at straws here!
Without studying the translations, I can think of a few issues your scenario would raise:
There would be inequality - what about all the singles who never had a chance to marry? might they not be jealous? (I know we won't be jealous in heaven, but still...they would be missing out on something good).
In the scenario that was presented to Jesus - what if the woman was happiest with her first, or fourth husband, and she's stuck with the last one for all eternity...and what about him? He might have only married her because it was his duty, when perhaps he really would have preferred someone else...
I can understand that happily married people would wish they could stay married, but I know some people who are completely incompatible, and eternity is a long time!

I tend to believe the statement of Jesus means there won't be any marriage at all as such, but since I think heaven will be better in all things than anything we have now, it won't be an issue, and surely we won't think we are missing out on anything - and look forward to finding out all about it!

I agree, Suzana. I would love to believe I would be reunited and married to my late husband, but, sadly, he wasn't a believer. I guess in that case I would go through eternity as a widow. Like Suzana said, I know things will be different, but wouldn't that be kind of disappointing for me??

[RickC]

I don't see any reason why married people won't continue to be married in either heaven or in the final state of the new heavens and new earth when they fully arrive with God Himself: Assuming both spouses die before the Second Coming, they may very well be married in heaven....

One thing about marriage appears to be different in heaven and the final and full new heavens and new earth. Namely, then there will be no more procreation: This is what I've always thought, anyway. I have no idea if sexual relations may continue for "intimacy" purposes in the final state. They probably couldn't happen in heaven because people don't have bodies there: That is, people other than Jesus.

Btw, Adam & Eve were told to procreate before they fell, though they didn't do it till after. Gen 1 (NIV)
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

The text Darin may have been referencing{?}: Matt 22:29-30 (NLT)
“Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God. For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven."

Compare:

Luke 20 (NASB)
35 but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage;
36 for they cannot even die anymore, because they are like angels, and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.

In these texts Jesus was in a debate with Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection. They were trying to "trap" him with a hypothetical question. Jesus didn't "take the bait."

The "trap" {Sadducees' argument} seems to have been: "Since a woman had married seven {apparently} righteous men who all died; which one will she get married to after the resurrection?"

Jesus replied saying that no one will get married after the resurrection. In this lifetime, the Law teaches that a spouse is free to marry another if their spouse dies. But Jesus didn't answer whether the woman would be married to her last husband or not, or "if" to anyone at all ....

He took this 'opportunity' to do some teaching about the resurrection, saying we'll be like the angels in that we won't die. He was talking specifically about angels in heaven, not fallen angels who are on earth. I don't think Jesus referred to fallen angels as "angels" {if he did, I don't recall where}. He may have said angels "in heaven" to distinguish between fallen angels and good angels in this passage{?}. But to my knowledge, Jesus never commented on what some Jews of his time believed: That fallen angels did marry, see Genesis 6:1-4. If Jesus believed they did or didn't...Genesis 6 is before the resurrection....

TK, I think you can, possibly, if you want, , tell your wife, "We'll still be married," imo.
Of course, this is something like a guess on my part!
But I don't see why not....

Thanks,

[TK]

excellent points, Rick. of course suzana and michelle have excellent points too.

if there is one thing i have learned from being on this forum, is that there is less and less that i seem to be 100% sure about!

TK

[RickC]

excellent points, Rick. of course suzana and michelle have excellent points too.

if there is one thing i have learned from being on this forum, is that there is less and less that i seem to be 100% sure about!

I'm 99% sure you can say, "Dear, some dude on the internet thinks we might still be married after Jesus comes back"...but only if you want to, , later......maybe.

I tend to believe the statement of Jesus means there won't be any marriage at all as such, but since I think heaven will be better in all things than anything we have now, it won't be an issue, and surely we won't think we are missing out on anything - and look forward to finding out all about it!

To which Michelle replied:
I agree, Suzana. I would love to believe I would be reunited and married to my late husband, but, sadly, he wasn't a believer. I guess in that case I would go through eternity as a widow. Like Suzana said, I know things will be different, but wouldn't that be kind of disappointing for me??

Suzana,
I've always believed the same, basically, as far as there not being any marriage, anyway. But now, I'm entertaining the idea that it may be possible....

What about the question the Sadducees asked Jesus? {if I were asked?}....
I would think that most married Christians would discuss "remarriage" in the case of: "What if one of us should die?" Since God's Law says we can, I would think that a "good" Christian would agree with it. What I mean is: If God okays it, why shouldn't Christians?

Also, if marriage does exist after death, theoretically speaking; I would say the woman would be married to the last man. Reason being: The Law says it's alright.

I don't think any former husbands, after the resurrection, would feel bad in any way. I mean, if I were married, I'd tell my wife, "If I die, please find someone else and Be Happy!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle,
I knew your husband wasn't a believer...and for that I'm sorry....

I don't think you will be a "widow" in eternity. I don't think I'll be "single" {as in, what it used to always mean: never married}.

You and I are celibates. In eternity, we'll continue to be the same. I try to think of myself as a "celibate" {rather than "single/never-married"} because this is: The Bible Definition of what I am in the eyes of the LORD, not the world. I focus on what being celibate means for Christians...and live this lifestyle as God enables.

I don't feel either of us will remember the "sad side" of our current existence. Being alone and perhaps lonely or very lonely sometimes {it can happen}, and in your case, a widow. I will no longer have any regrets about 'botching up' my past relationships with Christian women who I could and, possibly, should have married. You won't recall the sadness of being a widow. We just won't think about any of this kind of stuff any more, Michelle. We really won't....

Everything's gonna be okay.

When the New Creation/New Heavens and New Earth fully arrive with God Himself:

Rev 21 (NASB)
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,

4and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."

[Paidion]

I don't think we can get many scriptural answers to this question, since not much has been revealed. But there are a few things to consider in our speculations:

1. If there is no existence after death until the resurrection, then there is no question about marriage UNTIL the resurrection.

2. If you will have remained married in the resurrection, and you had been married to two or more people on earth, will you be married to both or all of them in the resurrection? This question seems to have been answered by Jesus when a similar question was posed by the Saducees. He answered that there is no marrying or giving in marriage in the resurrection. But what does this answer mean?

2a. It may mean that there are no sexual relations in the resurrection. But why should that be?
Jesus, in his resurrected body ate food before his disciples. Doubtless his immortal body didn't NEED food, as his mortal body did while he was here on earth. Yet, he apparently enjoyed eating. Could the same idea apply to sexual intercourse?

2b. Marriage on earth is to be an exclusive relationship. God may have required this because of our fallen natures --- our tendency to human jealousy. Could that be the reason why there will be no marriage or giving in marriage in the resurrection? Could it be that there will be no need for marriage as there will no longer be any jealousy?

2c. C.S. Lewis suggested that there will be relationships in the after life which will TRANSCEND sexuality and be much more enjoyable. Could these transcendent relationships be so wonderful, that no one would even think of having sexual pleasure in the resurrection? For sex would pale by comparison.

3. As for the close fellowshp and companionship we have in marriage on earth, this companionship might be univeral in the resurrection. There might be no one excluded from this kind of closeness in the resurrection, for there will be no sin of any kind.

[darinhouston]

I don't think we can get many scriptural answers to this question, since not much has been revealed. But there are a few things to consider in our speculations:

1. If there is no existence after death until the resurrection, then there is no question about marriage UNTIL the resurrection.

2. If you will have remained married in the resurrection, and you had been married to two or more people on earth, will you be married to both or all of them in the resurrection? This question seems to have been answered by Jesus when a similar question was posed by the Saducees. He answered that there is no marrying or giving in marriage in the resurrection. But what does this answer mean?

2a. It may mean that there are no sexual relations in the resurrection. But why should that be?
Jesus, in his resurrected body ate food before his disciples. Doubtless his immortal body didn't NEED food, as his mortal body did while he was here on earth. Yet, he apparently enjoyed eating. Could the same idea apply to sexual intercourse?

2b. Marriage on earth is to be an exclusive relationship. God may have required this because of our fallen natures --- our tendency to human jealousy. Could that be the reason why there will be no marriage or giving in marriage in the resurrection? Could it be that there will be no need for marriage as there will no longer be any jealousy?

2c. C.S. Lewis suggested that there will be relationships in the after life which will TRANSCEND sexuality and be much more enjoyable. Could these transcendent relationships be so wonderful, that no one would even think of having sexual pleasure in the resurrection? For sex would pale by comparison.

3. As for the close fellowshp and companionship we have in marriage on earth, this companionship might be univeral in the resurrection. There might be no one excluded from this kind of closeness in the resurrection, for there will be no sin of any kind.

Good points, Paidion, but wouldn't the same have applied to Adam & Eve in the beginning? (transcendant life, etc)? If not, why not? There was no fallen nature then, and yet God provided them in marriage.

[Paidion]

It seems to me that it did apply to Adam and Eve. After all, they were the only two people on earth whom God created, and thus there was complete fellowship of all people on earth. God chose to populate the earth further with Adam and Eve's progeny rather than direct creation.
"Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth".

However, it was AFTER Adam and Eve sinned, that the first person was born. All of Eve's children were born with the sinful nature, that is, the inclination to do wrong. The very first man, Cain, murdered his brother. So God, seeing these sinful natures restricted marriage, and spoke about a man leaving his father and mother and cleaving to his wife. A single spouse seemed to have been assumed, and probably for the reason of human jealousy of fallen man.

In spite of the above, polygamy was practised, and it seems God never rebuked anyone for the practice. Yet, it is obvious from the OT stories, that polygamy didn't do well in the environment of fallen man. One wife would get jealous of another wife because she was unable to bear children, etc.

Even under the new order in Christ, polygamy didn't seem to be discouraged except in the cases of elders and deacons. For some reason, polygamy has always been much more widespread in humanity than polyandry. I'm not sure why, but I suspect it has some relation to the many differences between men and women.