Hi Michelle,MichelleM wrote: It seems that what you are saying is that the attitude of the spouse who did not commit adultery is just as important as the actions of the spouse who did. Once when I was a new widow, I met another young widow who didn't have the same trouble getting past her grief that I did. It turns out that she was contemplating divorce at the time of her husband's death. Did she get a "get out of jail free" card as well? Was she unjustified in remarriage? Or, was it ok since he was no longer with us?
In my opinion - for whatever it is worth - you are correct in recognizing that the attitude of the "innocent" spouse is as important as the actions of the unfaithful spouse. Mayhap, it is even more important ...
I was married to my first wife for 12 years. During that time she had several other sexual partners. When I finally discovered her unfaithfulness, and she confessed same to me, I chose to forgive her rather than divorce her. She, on the other hand, decided that she no longer wanted to remain married to me. We separated, and a few months later she asked for a divorce. Even though I was the "innocent" party, I felt that I could not divorce her because I had forgiven the offenses, and they could no longer be counted against her. So, she chose to divorce me - without grounds. So, in that case, my attitude took precedent over her actions.
In my opinion the young widow that you once met might have been skating on thin ice. Obviously I do not know the full story, but she may have been sinfully entertaining divorce.
I would say that she was free to remarry because God was gracious, and did not allow her opportunity to follow through with what might have been a sinful act. However, she may need to look at her heart and see if she is seriously committed to following Christ in every area of her life.
peace,
dane