The Narrow Path Ministries

Does Scripture have principles that would apply to the subject of masturbation?

Hope this isn't over the top.

Hi Schoel,

Steve has a very good treatment of this matter on his Spiritual Warfare series, I believe it is in tape # 8.

Being in the prison ministry, I hear this topic come up a lot. It's a very difficult and frustrating issue, especially for single men and men who spend any significant amount of time away from their wives. I think this is why Paul advised men to get married if they don't have "the gift" (1 Cor 7). What makes it worse is that scripture doesn't directly address it so the temptation for many is to try and justify it somehow. The closest thing I can come up with is in 1 Thess.:

1 Thess 4:3-8
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.
NKJV

Not too many people I know believe that masturbation is an honorable thing, and I think the Holy Spirit usually confirms that in a person.

Also, I believe that sexual activity of any sort was designed by God to be a relational experience between man and wife. There isn't anything relational about sex with oneself. In fact, it's anti-relational and could hinder one's ability and motivation to seek a marital relationship in my opinion. I think that marriage and maybe even the physical act of sex are physical "types" of what a spiritual relationship with Christ is supposed to be. It was never meant to be alone.

I can't prove this scripturally, but my sense is that the fall created in us an exaggerated sexual appetite, for men especially. The paradox is that the more that appetite is fed, the bigger it gets. The more it is resisted with prayer and a commitment to refrain, the easier it becomes to do so (it's really hard to sin while in sincere prayer to God).

Thanks for the response. I think it must be resolved by an individual's conscience due to the lack of specific scriptural direction.

Another verse that comes to mind is Romans 6:12-20. It is a well known portion in which Paul is addressing the dangers of sexual immorality and the reasons to "flee" from it.

Verse 12 contrasts the permitted with the beneficial and the permitted with the addictive.

It is obvious that masturbation isn't honorable but sinful under the following conditions:
- it is wrong to an individual's (or their spouse's) conscience
- it either distracts us from Christ or becomes a controlling or addictive behaviour
- if it causes a weaker brother to stumble: Rom 14,15
- if it causes someone to lust after another who isn't their spouse Matt 5:27-28

However, within these parameters, I don't see Scripture condemning it. Although, it seems that following these boundaries would probably all but eliminate masturbation outside of exceptional circumstances.

I'm curious. How do you advise Christians in prison?

I'm curious. How do you advise Christians in prison?

Pretty much how I responded to you. I also add the questions:

"Is this something you would want people you love to know about you?"

"Is it glorifying to God"

"How committed are you to holy living?"

A great deal of our character is defined by what we do when we think nobody is looking. But Somebody always is.

Thanks for asking and God bless.

awesome reply and right on with being a follower of Christ.

Hi Schoel,

I agree with Christopher's assessment about this subject, and have some points I would like to add.

It is true that the Scriptures appear to omit any reference to masturbation. Unfortunately, the silence of Scripture on a topic can cut both ways, and for this reason, there are Christians who argue to different conclusions. Though there doesn't seem to be anything directly addressing the topic, it is possible that masturbation may fall under some larger category, like “fornication,” or “uncleanness,” about which the Scriptures do speak. I have even heard the suggestion that it is a specie of homosexuality, though this does not seem a fair characterization, since most men who indulge in this practice have no attraction to other men and are fantasizing about relations with women. I suppose that the burden of proof would rest upon the side of those who wish to assert that this practice belongs to one of these categories…but can anyone confidently affirm that it does not?

One approach to such an issue is to call attention to certain general, transcendent ideals that are clearly taught in Scripture, and to see how the present practice fits into them. The following is a partial list of such ideals:

1. Whatever you do…do all to the glory of God (1 Cor.10:31);

2. Possess your vessel (body?) in sanctification and honor (1 Thess.4:3-5);

3. To be impure in thought is offensive to God—e.g., to look at a woman for the purpose of lusting is sin (Matt.5:28);

4. Indulgence in anything that your conscience condemns is sin, whether or not the thing itself is sin (Rom.14:23);

5. Strong sexual craving can mask the moral wrongness or stupidity of a course of action which will be clearly sensed after the deed is done—after it is too late to retract or undo (Heb.12:16-17/ 2 Sam.13:11,15/Prov.5:3-4, 8, 11-14).

6. The fruit of the Spirit is…self-control (Gal.5:22-23);

7. One of the objectives of the Holy Spirit is to mortify (put to death) carnal lusts (Rom.8:12-13/ Col.3:5);

8. Any instance of sexual compromise and indulgence risks enslaving the heart and bringing one into a bondage to that behavior, just as abusing alcohol or drugs can result in addiction, if continued (Hos.4:11/ Prov.5:22).


I'd like to explore the impact of these ideals upon our thinking about the present subject.

Someone might argue that masturbation could accrue to the glory of God (point #1) in that it may prevent a far worse and more shameful compromise, and, if God never condemned it, it might even be viewed as a divinely-ordained “pressure-release valve” to help a man to avoid actual sexual sin. Maybe, but one would have to ask: If God ordained and provided such a method of avoiding sin, why do the Scriptures not mention this alternative in any of the passages that discuss the need to resist sexual sin?

It could be suggested that "possessing" one’s “vessel” in sanctification (point #2) could be made easier, if masturbation were a permitted practice. That is, the "innocent" act helps guarantee that the body will not yield to actual unholy sexual pressure. But the word “possessing” would seem more to convey the idea of restraint than of ventilation. The same word is used in Luke 21:19—"In your patience possess your souls"—where W.E. Vine thinks it means "you shall gain mastery over your souls." "Possessing" would then suggest "mastery over," not "appeasement." (Also, has anyone ever yet been able to think of masturbation as an “honorable” practice? Most people I know feel somewhat ashamed, not proud, of the practice).

Some may argue that they can masturbate without invoking mental images of a sexual nature involving another person (point #3). It may be possible, with great difficulty, to do so. But if one is already exerting such mental self-control as to be able to banish from the mind any such imagery, can it be a very large step from there to total physical self-control? In fact, in the absence of mental images, I think that most men would experience very little pressure for sexual release. Getting rid of the mental images is more than half the distance toward total mastery over the practice.

If one could bring his conscience around to the view that masturbation is all good (it might be suggested), then there would be no conscience problem such as is raised in point #4. But such manipulation of the conscience is far from safe! I think that, for most Christian men, approval of masturbation is not the initial sentiment, and, in order to overcome initial guilt feelings, the conscience must be “persuaded” to see things differently from its default convictions. Such persuasion is often possible, but usually amounts to a hardening of the heart and a searing of the conscience—resulting in reduced spiritual sensitivity. Such a condition allows a man to sin without knowing he is sinning. This is not only undesirable, but is, in my judgment, the most alarming state of affairs to which a Christian can be reduced.

To overcome the impact of point #5 would require, I think, the same alarming alteration of the conscience discussed under point #4.

Even if points #1 through #5 can somehow be side-stepped as objections to masturbation, I don’t see how the practice can be defended against the inescapable implications of the final three points.

“Self-control” (point #6), a fruit of the Spirit, is a quality that enables one to “contain himself.” Though Paul suggests that some may not have sufficient grace to do this, he recommends marriage—not masturbation—as the remedy of choice (1 Cor.7:9).

If it is the Spirit’s goal to mortify our fleshly lusts, and we are told to do so (point #7), then refraining from masturbation, and all other sexual indulgence outside of that which is clearly sanctioned (i.e., marital relations—Heb.13:4), would be one specific step in this direction. Paul does not suggest that any man can do this in his own power—"but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body…” (Rom.8:13). Cultivating a walk in the Spirit is what is needed here more than anything else.

Point #8 can sneak up on any unsuspecting and careless Christian, who allows the door to open even a crack for possibly-illicit sexual behavior (I say “possibly-illicit,” since the sinfulness of masturbation is a disputed point and I don’t wish to beg the question). The practice, once approved and indulged in, becomes an unbreakable bondage for a great many men. Even if the practice were clearly lawful, Paul said that, despite the lawfulness of a particular behavior, he would "not be brought under the power of any” (1 Cor.6:12). It is the glory of the Christian to be free from bondage to overpowering habits—especially those that are morally ambiguous.

My conclusion would be that masturbation, though not expressly and unambiguously forbidden by any verse in the Bible, is a practice that is difficult to defend in light of broader scriptural principles. It may be that there is not sufficient scriptural warrant to permit any man to condemn another on this basis (and who wants to condemn a brother, anyway?), but I am under the impression that, when all is said and done, the Christian is happier if he (or she) abstains from the practice. Few things in life are as gratifying as a sqeaky-clean conscience before God.

Now, having said that, I want to acknowledge what every Christian male knows—namely, that masturbation is not a problem that arises in a vacuum. Its power over men may be traced to factors in the environment as well as factors in human nature. Understanding these factors, so as to counteract them, may serve to diminish their ability to continue conquering the embattled Christian seeking to maintain his chastity.

(I realize that I am treating the whole subject as if it were exclusively a male problem. I know that it is not, and that some women have struggles in this area as well. However, almost all men have this struggle at some point in their lives, whereas a relatively small percentage of women seem to succumb to this habit. In any case, much of what I say here about men may be helpful also to women who have the same problems.)

Here are a number of factors that I believe make it so difficult for men to conquer temptation in the area of masturbation:

1. Men are naturally stimulated by visual images of a sexual nature. This vulnerability has been exploited by advertisers, fashion designers, the entertainment industry, and women—some of whom seem to be inexcusably clueless as to their complicity in this evil. Thus the godly man desiring to maintain a pure mind is assaulted day-in and day-out by visual temptation from billboards, publicly-displayed magazine covers, catalogs, and immodest women encountered in places of commerce—and even houses of worship!

(Most women cannot relate to men's "problems" in this area, because women and men are wired and plumbed differently from each other. To get a bit of an idea of the struggle that men face, a woman should imagine herself trying to diet, but continually being confronted by the sight, the smell and the offer of chocolate at every turn).

Besides this constant barrage of visual stimuli that men face in the office, at the bank, in stores, etc., there is the additional fact that most Christians in America watch television and movies—the content of which only aggravates the problem. Learning when and where not to look is a hard lesson to learn perfectly, but abstaining from unnecessary sources of temptation would seem to be a first step toward victory;

2. Men are influenced by peer pressure. A man will require very great will-power if he is to avoid succumbing to habits of thought, speech and action that are viewed as “normal” and “admirable” among those who are his primary companions all day long. To verbally express disapproval of a dirty joke, of popular film, or of an affair that an associate is bragging about takes great moral fotitude. Many Christian men feel overwhelmed and intimidated by the pervasiveness of sexual laxity and the total disdain for Christian moral standards continually expressed in the speech and lives of all the people in their working environment.

Of course, difficulty does not eliminate responsibility. The Christian must expect to be hated for Christ’s sake (Mark 13:13/ John 15:18-21), and may need to cut-off valued relationships which endanger his soul (Matt.5:29-30).

3. We are constantly bombarded with messages that are calculated to erode our Christian resolve. Everything in our modern culture conspires to confuse and mislead us in this area. The messages we hear spoken and implied day by day are intended by the enemy to remold our Christian thinking and to condition us a) to view women as objects for male sexual gratification and conquest; b) foreswearing monogamy, to desire variety ("the spice of life") in female companions; and c) to think of our desire for unrestrained sexual outlet as if it were as harmless and legitimate as is our appetite for food.

The continual washing of the mind with the Word of God, and surrounding ourselves with Christians dedicated to biblical norms (not always easy to find!) would seem to be our primary defense against this pervasive influence.

4. The evaporation of a sense of "community" in our modern society has resulted in most of us feeling very alone and unaccountable to other people. Loneliness is often as major an element in sexual temptation as is the libido. A man tempted to sin sexually can often overcome the urge simply by becoming engaged in conversation with a male friend on something deeper than a surface level. Becoming deeply involved in good, non-corrupting, male friendships is a very potent defense against sexual sin’s allure.

5. All of these points relate to the challenge of sexual purity generally, and not to masturbation exclusively. However, all of the environmental factors that make general chastity difficult accrue also in the matter of this specific practice. But the struggle against masturbation involves yet another factor that is not present to the same extent in any other kind of sexual temptation: Masturbation is the most private (and potentially secret) sexual act.

All temptation finds strength in the promise of secrecy. The suggestion that "no one need ever find out" is a potent weapon in the tempter’s arsenal. Of course, the primary defense against this deception is to remember that God is always watching and assessing our actions (Prov.5:20-21). There are no secrets kept from God, for “all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do” (Heb.4:13). Accountability to other men can obviously be helpful in this area as well.

I conclude that masturbation, while not singled-out for special mention in Scripture, is a practice that the Christian ought to resist and seek to overcome. For many Christian men, it will present a greater challenge than will any other temptation in life, and will, most likely, defeat them from time-to-time.

This need not be an occasion of condemnation and despondency for the embattled Christian who stumbles. “In many things we all stumble” (James 3:2). Multiple past failures provide no basis for predicting future performance. I am personally aware of men who fought against this practice for years, experiencing many failures, but not giving-up, and who ultimately came to a place of steady victory over this habit.

Obtaining victory may involve a lifetime of striving before we reach our goal, but a lifetime is what we have been given—and what better way to occupy ourselves in it than to invest the time in fighting the Lord’s battles? We must never stop striving for mastery over temptation and sin, but we must also never forget the grace and sympathy of God and the advocacy of Christ on behalf of those who fail repeatedly in course of their progress.

“My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins…” (1 John 2:1-2)

Thanks for the thorough response.

Knowing that you currently have teenage boys, I'm curious to know if you addressed this with them and how you approached it.

I have 2 boys (toddler and baby) but its never to early to prepare for these conversations.

Hi Steve,

A man tempted to sin sexually can often overcome the urge simply by becoming engaged in conversation with a male friend on something deeper than a surface level. Becoming deeply involved in good, non-corrupting, male friendships is a very potent defense against sexual sin’s allure.

Could you elaborate on your above suggestion, and also give some examples of what these conversations are? [Or did you mean conversation as a synonym for friendship?]

Thanks.

Hi Ben,

I was actually giving an observation from my own experience. When my first wife ran off in 1974, I was 21 and was not pleased to be single again. Like any previously-married man, I had to get used to the idea of being celibate again, which was difficult at times.

There were times when the sexual pressure seemed overwhelming, but I was living in a Christian community with other brethren and I found that simply finding a brother who was not busy and starting a conversation about his life and how he was doing would take my mind off my own temptations.

It really didn't matter what the conversation was about, within a short time of talking, I rtealized that sexual matters had passed from my thinking, and that the mere companionship of a friend adequately substituted for the kind of intimacy that I had previously felt the need for.

I concluded that much of the temptation that I thought of as sexual was really just a need for companionship and intimacy. Having been married, I had come to associate the craving for such intimacy with that of a married couple, but I found that the sexual aspect was the smallest portion of this felt need, and it could easily be ignored if mere friendship and social intercourse was permitted to take its place.

Hi Schoel,

I have talked about sex with my teenaged sons, but not specifically about masturbation. This is mainly because I didn't want to put ideas in their minds that weren't already there. This may seem naive of me, to think that the idea of masturbation would not naturally be in a teenaged boy's mind, but I remember myself not having a thought of the subject through my entire teen years.

I was already married before I even knew what the term "masturbation" referred to! I previously had heard the slang terms by which people at school referred to the practice, but I didn't hang out with guys who did it (or at least who admitted to doing it), and I never gave it much thought or had a clear idea of what it involved. When I later fully understood what the terms were referring to, it seemed bizarre to my mind, though the temptation certainly became familiar to me after my wife left.

If I was this naive going through public school, as I did, I have assumed that my sons, being home-schooled, would have even less opportunity to consider the idea or temptation. Of course, I know that my sons face sexual temptation. But they have always talked pretty freely with me about such things. I assume that, if they began to consider masturbation, they would ask me about it and I would tell them what I have said above.

I did give my older son the book "Every Young Man's Battle" to read, when he was old enough to move out on his own. It deals with the subject of masturbation in a very forthright manner, and I would be inclined to recommend it to parents wishing to inform their teen-aged boys about this matter.