Eric wrote:
Lament
March 2003
Do you care
are you aware
are you impotent or just distant—
indifferent or nonexistent?
they all blur together
oh, excuse me, were you trying to build character
incapable or uninvolved
absent or just invisible?
some grand design for the greater good
I thought the ends didn't justify the means
is the failure mine or is it yours
where were you when I was being abused
how can I trust you now when I couldn't then
what purpose this suffering?
I know you'll care for me in death
but where's your care right now
you intended for me to be lonely
how exactly do you get to be not a sick bastard for that?
and what kind of a father can you be, anyway
(since you're imperceptible and all)
or am I being unreasonable
have I discounted you
where are you
why don't you come
time is running out
you'd better act soon
I'm waiting for you
to be my source of life
I'm sourceless
I don't think it's all my fault
prove me wrong
make me eat my words
rescue me
declare yourself
punish me
at least you'd be present
reach me
like a loving father should
if you have so much loyal love
and it lasts forever
is there some sort of trick
about when it's supposed to start?
I'm waiting
I'm looking
I'm hoping
I'm dying
Eric, your poem struck me! Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. Like you, in my youth I knew prolonged intense suffering and like you, I've written a few poems. Yours above speaks volumes to me!
Further, I cannot agree more with Steve Gregg as he wrote,
"There is not a one-size-fits-all answer to the issues of depression or other problems that are commonly categorized as "psychiatric" in nature. Without fear of being too "conspiratorial," I can comfortably say that the whole profession of psychiatry has very sinister origins and is largely a pawn of big pharmaceutical companies. It has ruined very many lives." I believe that not only is "psychiatry...a pawn of big pharmaceutical companies," but so also is the standard American medical philosophy and practice. I had suspected this for years, but because of my recent chronic illness I have researched and found credible evidence to support my supposition.
Now that I know what I know and after hearing Steve's answer to Sandy, the caller to the radio program (Monday?), and now after reading the other posts on this thread, I feel compelled to speak. I cannot remain silent any longer. Monday, as I heard Sandy say he would discuss the topic with his wife, I felt nauseous to think he and his wife might feel less-Christian because of their depression! (I'm not saying Steve said that, but I had an emotional " lump in my throat" as I listened to the conversation on the radio. I hope Sandy and his wife read this post!...the whole thread!)
I am offering another possible "fit" in the "
not a one-size-fits-all-answer." This is very controversial, being opposed by the AMA, FDA and ADA on one side while on the otherhand, by the American Academy of Biological Dentistry, Integrative Medicine and Holistic health philosophy (and me). Whatever your opinion, the deciding factor may be in having a personal experience yourself or in knowing someone else who has.
I have discovered data to support the fact that mercury (silver) fillings, root canals and cavitations, which are rotting bone under the teeth/gumline (along with mercury and thimerosal, etc. in vaccinations) may cause or aggravate a myriad of chronic illnesses including
Depression. This is very timely to me because not only do I testify to the obvious, that my life has been spared from severe neurological degeneration because of several recent biological dentistry procedures (and other choices), but also I have an aging loved one in my family who has suffered
Depression and other significant psychological disorders for decades and now I am finally! in a position to understand her (and hopefully help her).
As was previously noted, there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to
Depression, but for those who respond well to having the mercury removed from their dental fillings--
and successfully avoiding other sources of mercury--they may find that
Depression is less of a spiritual problem, and more likely a result of "toxic overload" (slow poisoning). See
http://www.aaemonline.org/chemicalsensitivitypost.html for discussion on the chemicals in our lives.
Below is a list of resources on the subject of mercury poisoning, i.e. dental health, and its relationship to psychological, physical and neurological conditions.
Dr. Boyd Haley – In the past 14 years Dr. Haley has emphasized studies on Alzheimer's disease (
depression is a common symptom) in his laboratory. Dr. Haley has testified as an expert witness at government hearings on the issue of the health hazards of mercury in vaccines and dental amalgam.
http://www.whale.to/vaccine/hayley.html
Dr. Steven Levy (Cardiologist)- Presents the dangers of mercury, root canals and cavitations. His website is
http://www.LivOnLabs.com
He is interviewed on
http://www.Healthyroot.com
Dental Amalgams Mercury Solution (DAMS)-
http://www.amalgam.org/
Dr. Hal Huggins– one of the founding fathers of the anti-mercury amalgam movement.
http://www.hugginsappliedhealing.com
Dr. Wesley Shankland-
http://www.drshankland.com/osteocavitat ... ons.html#6
Dr. Bouquot-
http://www.maxillofacialcenter.com/indexNICO.htm
Watch a brain neuron respond to mercury inside a test tube-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VImCpWzXJ_w
Below is an excerpt from an article found by searching-
http://www.iaomt.org (I hope you will do your own search. There is a lot of information.)
Amalgam ToxicityThere is an extremely high incidence of
depression, memory loss and behavioral .... They also suffer a high incidence of depression and memory disorders. ...
http://www.iaomt.org/testfoundation/amalgamtox.htm - Cached
Dr. Williamson says that the toxicity results in disorders primarily of the central nervous system; the head, neck and oral cavity; the gastrointestinal tract; the cardiovascular, renal and immune systems. “Exposure to mercury fillings results in a chronic toxicity, not acute poisoning,” he noted as an aside.
According to Dr. Williamson, the toxicity can manifest in irritability and anxiety, restlessness and emotional instability, loss of memory, inability to concentrate, mental confusion, depression, anti-social behavior, suicidal tendencies, muscle weakness and loss of coordination; bleeding gums and loosening of teeth; abdominal cramps, chronic diarrhea and/or constipation; abnormal heart rhythms and blood pressure (high or low) and unexplained elevations of cholesterol and triglycerides; repeated infections or cancer; and generalized complaints such as chronic headaches, allergies, dermatitis, cold and clammy skin or excessive perspiration, ringing in the ears, joint and muscle pain, unsteady gait, wheezing, heart palpitations, sinus congestion, allergies, loss of appetite or chronic obesity.
Dr. Davis explains that these symptoms have inexplicably been on the rise in the past 50 years, without any unifying explanation. But findings in the past 10 years indicate that mercury toxicity may be the common link between these seemingly unrelated symptoms.
Thank you for allowing me to share this information and my viewpoint. I recognize the ill-effect that dental issues and mercury exposure have upon mental and physical health, so I pray that you (we) are guided by the Holy Spirit to improved health, even toward the joy of our salvation.