Remembering Past Sins/Mistakes

[Guest]

When you realize that you were not faithful on your word (from the past) how, as a Christian, do you handle this?

I've struggled immensely with recollections (behavior from the past, sometimes even years ago) when I was did not act befitting a Christian. My struggle has been in the form of condemnation and guilt, and my thoughts tell me that I must go back and make the situation right, or I must do what I said I would do or God will not accept me (I will lose salvation).

Just over three years ago I told a realtor (on the phone after we bought a "for sale by owner" house) that I would give him a small gift for helping me and my wife in the house hunting process. Well, I forgot this for a long time and have just recently remembered what I communicated to him.

My thoughts tell me that if I don't fulfill my word to him than I'm in trouble with God, even perhaps eternally. But I just know that this can't be true, right? And to top it off, I feel if I go back and do this that I would be embracing a gospel of works (because the motivation for doing this would be to alleviate God's wrath). Should you do something if you can't do it with the right heart motivation?

I need some help sorting though all this. What should I do?

Thanks.

Brian

[Guest]

First of all, you KNOW that you are not condemned, right? (Rom 8:1; I John 1:9)

And you know that if you go back and fulfill your promise there is no way that it could earn your God's acceptance. Gospels of works don't ... well ...work.

But maybe going back and giving the realtor something, as you promised, will ease your conscience. Plus it might be a good witness. And, this is a good time of year for gift giving, anyway.

It sounds to me like the enemy is preying on you. He's got a good one going...you feel condemned if you don't do anything and you feel ungrateful for grace if you do. I will remember you in my prayers.

P.S. Thanks for sharing your struggle. I struggle with forgiveness a LOT. I committed some doozies when I was younger and the results are still around to be seen. I never quite feel like I'm totally cleansed from all my sins. My thoughts are that God sort of grudgingly let me into the kingdom, but that he's sure I'm going to mess up again. I wish that Satan would give up on that one, but he seldom does.

[Guest]

Hi Brian,
Doing the right thing will seldom have anything to do with how we feel. Which is a good thing since our feelings are not a good judge for basing what we know is right. But when you do the right thing, your feelings wll respond appropriately.

I would send the man a card with the check and short letter apologizing for taking so long to respond and thanking him again for his help at that time. It wouldn't hurt to mention that you are enjoying this house and wish him well and a merry Christmas. Keep it simple and sincere and don't make any promises to use him for the listing should you sell in the future.

(Eccl 5:4-6 KJV) When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. {5} Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. {6} Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?

(James 5:12 KJV) But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.

The opportunity to do right is the liberty we have in Christ, and it will turn to you for a testimony and a blessing.

[Guest]

Thanks Michelle and MoGrace2u.

While I am sure that sending the man a gift of some sort would be an honorable thing to do, I'm just wondering if it makes sense now so long after the fact. I highly doubt that he remembers anything at all.

I know that there have been other times in my past when I told someone that I would do something which I failed to do (email them, call them, inquire into something for them, etc.). What if I begin to recall these moments as well? Am I obligated to go back and fulfill all those things too? When does it end?

In my heart of hearts I know that if I don't do anything about it and just move on, God will not abandon me. He is a Father after all. But all along there has been that slightest bit of doubt that tells me that I will be condemned if I don't go back and make it right. I have wanted reassurance that what that "slightest bit of doubt" tells me is indeed from the enemy. Once this is confirmed perhaps my desire to go back will be honorable.

Thanks.

[Guest]

Thanks Michelle and MoGrace2u.

While I am sure that sending the man a gift of some sort would be an honorable thing to do, I'm just wondering if it makes sense now so long after the fact. I highly doubt that he remembers anything at all.

I know that there have been other times in my past when I told someone that I would do something which I failed to do (email them, call them, inquire into something for them, etc.). What if I begin to recall these moments as well? Am I obligated to go back and fulfill all those things too? When does it end?

In my heart of hearts I know that if I don't do anything about it and just move on, God will not abandon me. He is a Father after all. But all along there has been that slightest bit of doubt that tells me that I will be condemned if I don't go back and make it right. I have wanted reassurance that what that "slightest bit of doubt" tells me is indeed from the enemy. Once this is confirmed perhaps my desire to go back will be honorable.

Thanks.

I would send him something if your conscience is bothering you. He might think you're nuts, for sending it long after the fact, but you could explain why, and that would be a good witness.

God bless,

[_Steve]

Hi Brian,

While neglect of fulfilling a promise may not directly affect our salvation, being saved does affect our determination to fulfill our promises. That is, we may be saved before we have done any good works, but we are certainly saved "unto good works" (Eph.2:10). Making good on promises is one such work.

There are two factors involving your discipleship in this situation:

1. The first is the matter of basic integrity. Telling the truth is a Christian's duty, and fulfilling promises is how we prevent them from becoming untruths that we have told. God commands us to keep our promises, and a delayed obedience (and one performed without the best of motives) is better than none at all.

There are only two options open for the Christian who has made promises--fulfill them without delay (Prov.3:27-28/ Rom.13:7-8) or seek to be released from them by the person to whom the promises were made, if fulfilling them seems impossible (Prov.6:1-5). The man God honors is the one who "swears to his own hurt," but does not renege (Psalm 15:4/ 2 Cor.8:10-11).

We may get a sense of how important it is to keep our word by asking ourselves, "How would it be if God kept His promises no better than I keep mine?" Our faithness to perform the things that have gone out of our mouth indicates the intensity of our desire to "be imitators of God" (Eph.5:1). Also, whether fairly of unfairly, others will derive their opinions about God's character (e.g., His faithfulness) from what they perceive in those who profess to follow Him.

2. The second is the matter of being led by the Holy Spirit. In this case, the Holy Spirit seems to have brought to your attention an unfulfilled obligation. There may be others that He has not yet brought up, but that He will in the future. You needn't worry about those until such a time as the Spirit reminds you of them. However, walking in the Spirit certainly means taking the next step that the Spirit is indicating. That step would seem to be that of sending the realator some money as promised.

[Guest]

Brian,

I don't have time to say much right now, but I agree with the others that I would send something. God may be nudging you to bless this person for some reason unbeknownst to you.

Don't worry too much about what you can't remember. God will certainly nudge you there if He wants.

(I guess I was posting at the same time Steve was)

[Guest]

Brian,

You said:

I feel if I go back and do this that I would be embracing a gospel of works (because the motivation for doing this would be to alleviate God's wrath).

There is nothing you can do to merit salvation. If you do what is right to please your Lord, or bring glory to Him, then you can find great satisfaction in doing it for the right reason.

As Steve and Derek have indicated, this situation is an opportunity to be a witness for Christ, to explain why you are doing it. Doesn't need to be anything fancy or a sermon, just a simple, sincere statement.

God bless you in this.

[Guest]

I'd like to thank everyone who has contributed. It has clarified the cobwebs in my thinking. It has really been a blessing that I can come to this forum and receive such caring responses to my personal struggles.

Steve, in particular, I'd like to address a point that you made:

God commands us to keep our promises, and a delayed obedience (and one performed without the best of motives) is better than none at all.

I know this is the honest and right thing to do. And you made the point that it should be done even if motives aren't always the best. It is situations like this that prompted me to start the following thread (which you responded to):

http://www.wvss.com/forumc/viewtopic.php?t=1374

The conclusion was that even if someone (erroneously) believed a particular sin (if unrepented of) caused them to be estranged from God, this in itself would not be the cause of one losing his salvation. Nor would the act of going back to make something right be tantamount to embracing a salvation of works (even if the person thought that they had to do it or else God would abandon them).

I never believed as the hypothetical person above, but my feelings have tried to pull me in this direction. Still, would one not run into problems if they thought that their holy living (or their refraining from sin) is what maintained their salvation? Would you still say that if a person fully embraces this that they are not succumbing to a type of gospel of works? What exactly would it look like (practically) for one to abandon the gospel of grace for a gospel of works?

Thanks.

Brian

[Guest]

Brian,

What exactly would it look like (practically) for one to abandon the gospel of grace for a gospel of works?

One subtle thing I noticed in myself was that if I did something bad, I would feel a need to do something good "to make up for it". Then I realized this idea itself is a sin; there is no way, no how we can "make up for it". Only the blood of Jesus can do that.

Blessings, Homer