Question on Forgiveness

Post by **_postpre** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:06 am

Not quite a year ago I posted the following at another forum. There have been a couple of issues (this being one of them) that I would like other saints to enlighten me on.

Here is the post:

"Last February my brother and I participated in a large-scale miniature golf tournament through our downtown "skywalk" system. We ended up having the best score for doubles on the particluar course we played, and received a small prize for the win. My brother kept our score and, at the time, I thought that he may have fudged on a couple of his strokes (on a couple of puts that he thought should have holed but didn't due to the unforgiving hole). I let my brother tally up our score and left it at that (without saying anything) and soon forgot about it.

About two weeks ago out of nowhere the whole incident popped into my mind again, and I began to feel very guilty and condemned about not doing anything when it happened. I resolved to talk to my brother and I did (which was hard) but he didn't recall fudging at all (or if he did he wasn't saying). Nevertheless, since I'm pretty sure it did take place, I haven't been able to shake severe feelings of guilt and condemnation.

This has been an ongoing pattern in which something from my past springs up after the fact (usually done after I was saved) and for some reason I feel like I have to make it right- like go back and confess my fault- before God will accept me. I am deeply grieved and have repented over the things that were displeasing to God, but my flesh seems to want to take it a step further. It tells me that God won't forgive me until I go back.

I need some assurance that my thinking is wrong on this matter. That I am being decieved in thinking that I have to go back and make everything right before God will accept me. And specifically, in this matter with the mini-golf tourny, that I don't have to go back and tell anyone 8 months after the fact.

I love Christ. I realize I am saved only by his awesome grace. But some of these thoughts (even doubting the security of my soul) have tormented me at times. It's been very difficult to see the real truth when what I believe to be lies attempt to swallow me up in despair and render me an innefective Christ-follower.

Thanks so much for reading."

Brian

Post by **_mdh** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 3:36 pm

postpre,

My heart feels for you. I pray that the Lord will help you find peace, and know what He would have you do.

You say you have spoken to your brother, and he did not admit to any cheating. What course would you have taken if he had admitted to cheating? What do you think you should do given that he does not recall the incident the way you do? That is, what does your conscience tell you that you should do to make the matter right?

Our consciences are not infallible, we need to test what they tell us against scripture. But I do think we should carefully listen to them. Sounds like you are sensitive to this.

My prayers are with you, brother.

Mike

Post by **_postpre** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:42 pm

Mike

Thanks for your kind words. I have contemplated confessing this to the director of the tournament and forfeiting the medal. But my heart tells me to put this behind me and to just determine to be on-guard if such a matter should occur in the future.

Here's how I sense that this is the right approach. The thoughts in my head (that cause me such anguish) are telling me that if I don't confess this then I am not saved and God will abandon me. I wouldn't want to perform an action under these assumptions. I believe these thoughts are condemnation from the enemy. What do you think?

I mean, did I really sin, given that I didn't turn in the score card in? Perhaps I could have been more observant, for sure. But surely God's Spirit would have done something with me sooner than seven months after the fact.

I just need some mature and loving Christians to confirm that I am dealing with this in a God honoring way.

Thanks again for you support.

Brian

Post by **_Anonymous** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 7:10 pm

Hi Brian,

You have my prayers as well.

I have a question: Why do you doubt your brother when he says he didn't recall fudging? Is your bother a believer? Is he prone to lying?

postpre wrote:... I have contemplated confessing this to the director of the tournament and forfeiting the medal. But my heart tells me to put this behind me and to just determine to be on-guard if such a matter should occur in the future.

Maybe if you're really sure your brother did cheat, it would be a good thing to return the medal. Probably the director would think you were nuts, but it might ease your conscience. But I don't think you would be wrong to put the whole thing behind you if you are not even sure if a sin has been commited.

Here's how I sense that this is the right approach. The thoughts in my head (that cause me such anguish) are telling me that if I don't confess this then I am not saved and God will abandon me. I wouldn't want to perform an action under these assumptions. I believe these thoughts are condemnation from the enemy. What do you think?

I think it is definitely is from the enemy. Here's a verse for you:

Romans 8:1
THERE is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

I mean, did I really sin, given that I didn't turn in the score card in? Perhaps I could have been more observant, for sure. But surely God's Spirit would have done something with me sooner than seven months after the fact.

Well, if you knew it wasn't on the up and up, it probably was a sin. Maybe God just wants you to be more prepared next time.

By the way, here's a thread where a similar problem was discussed:
Does a real christian not struggle with habitual sins?

I just need some mature and loving Christians to confirm that I am dealing with this in a God honoring way.

Thanks again for you support.

Brian

I think you are doing just fine...not that I'm a mature Christian, but one who cares, anyway

Post by **_postpre** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:05 pm

Michelle,

Thanks for your prayers. No, my brother is not a Christian. At the time I was pretty sure that he did fudge on the scorecard.

Even though this is the case, given the thoughts of condmenation that I earlier alluded to, do you still think that it is wise to put this behind me?

As I said, I don't want to act out of the wrong heart- that I'd be going back to so that God doesn't abandon me.

Thanks,
Brian

Post by **_STEVE7150** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:47 pm

I resolved to talk to my brother and I did (which was hard) but he didn't recall fudging at all (or if he did he wasn't saying). Nevertheless, since I'm pretty sure it did take place, I haven't been able to shake severe feelings of guilt and condemnation.

Brian, I don't think pretty sure is good enough to in effect in public make your brother known as a cheater and a liar. You could damage your relationship with him forever and at this point now 2 years later who would you be doing this for? Clearly yourself to ease your pain but completely unfair to your brother who you don't have the right to play God and convict him two years later.
You confessed your possible carelessness to God, and God will forgive you and probably would be delighted if you learn from this incident so you can be a good witness to your brother and others in the future.

Post by **_MLH** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 10:14 pm

With some areas of my life I have had an overactive conscience.
The bible clearly states IF we confess our sins HE IS just and able to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness...Personally, let it go and
move on. Dont forfeit the relationship with your brother. My brother
turned from me after I became a christian.

I know GOD is well pleased with your attitude.. But, dont condemn
yourself any longer...

Post by **_postpre** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:11 pm

Thanks Steve and MLH!

You are quite kind to encourage a brother who is struggling. Yet, you have really helped me see my situation more clearly- through the eyes of a loving Father, and not my oversensitive conscience which can be influenced by the enemy.

All of you have been a blessing.

Brian