Dispensational humor

Post by **_Sean** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 12:52 am

Just thought I would share. I thought this was a funny representation of the complexity of dispensationalism and the great tribulation:

Post by **_mattrose** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 1:24 am

hehe

I tried my hand at being eschatologically funny a while back with a blog series on identifying the antichrist

http://matthew94.blogspot.com/2005/08/pin-tail.html

I investigate Barney, Clinton, Gates, Arnold & Nicolae[/url]

Post by **_Steve** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 12:56 pm

Matt,
I checked out your site. Really enjoyed the Antichrist series.

Post by **_Anonymous** » Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:30 pm

You might be a DISPENSATIONALIST if...

1. You think other Christians are anti-Semitic
2. You’ve never read Hebrews
3. You can justify being 2000 years late for an appointment
4. You’re really bad at math
5. You think Kirk Cameron is a fine actor
6. When the going gets rough, you’re nowhere to be found
7. You sleep nude so your post-rapture bed is tidy
8. You were born after 1830
9. You love Christian television
10. You use your newspaper for morning devotions
11. You’d rather have been outside Noah’s ark
12. You don't think satan really noticed the cross
13. You prefer the shadows
14. Always always means always except sometimes
15. You went to Dallas Theological Seminary
16. Bad news excites you
17. You feel Scofields notes were inspired
18. You can’t speak b/c you are in parenthesis
19. You’ll only be a 2nd class citizen of paradise
20. You found my pin the tail series thought provoking
21. You think THIS means THAT
22. You think NEAR means FAR
23. You thought about naming your kid Darby
24. You decided it’s too late to have kids
25. You’re offended by this list

Post by **_schoel** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 10:10 am

In essentials unity, in nonessentials, liberty and in all things charity.

If we truly wish to have a Christ-centered dialogue with our dispensational brothers and sisters, we must always engage with respect and love.

Christ never made fun of the disciples because they didn't understand or understood incorrectly. He patiently explained.

I realize that many accusations and uncharitable remarks are made by dispensationalists towards those with other eschatalogical viewpoints, but we cannot allow ourselves to be offended and "return the favor".

1 Peter 1:21-24 (ESV)

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Post by **_mattrose** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:14 pm

My stuff wasn't made as a 'response' to negative remarks

It was just made in a light-hearted manner for fun. I consider dispensationalists, of course, my brothers & sisters in Christ. Families have fun together. We shouldn't take non-essentials TOO seriously.

Post by **_Steve** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:36 pm

I didn't find the "You may be a dispensationalist if..." series offensive...and I don't believe I would have found it offensive when I was a dispensationalist. I might have found it thought-provoking. It didn't strike me as being of the same spirit as calling a brother "anti-semitic" or "a dangerous heretic."

Post by **_schoel** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 11:36 am

I may have misjudged and I apologize.
I also found the posts funny and thought-provoking, but my reaction was an attempt to see them through the eyes of my dispensationalist friends.

See this post for further discussion on this:
http://66.246.192.110/forumC/viewtopic.php?t=656

ps. I'm currently undecided on eschatology as I have a lot of research to do, but find Futurism/dispensationalism the least plausible based on some of the above statements.

Post by **_Christopher** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:38 pm

Hi Dave,

I have to say that I also was a little unsettled by the humor in this thread, but I have to admit that there really isn't anything inherently offensive about the jokes. You and I have a lot in common in that we have many friends who are passionately dispensational because of our church affiliation. So it might be that we are a little more sensitive about it than most are. But I agree with Steve that it isn't nearly as bad as what I hear from the pulpit on a regular basis about what I believe.

Post by **_dblev** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:54 pm

Hello everyone, i'm new here. I actually got this list straight from a dispensationalist.

Top 10 ways to tell if you are obsessed with dispensationalism.

10. You use the Left Behind Series as devotional reading.

9. You get goose bumbs when you hear a trumpet.

8. You believe the term Church Fathers refers to Hal Lindsey and Tim LeHaye.

7. You believe there is an original Greek & Hebrew Text with Scofield Notes.

6. You can name more signs of the times than 10 commandments.

5. You refuse a tax refund check because the amount comes to $ 666.

4. Barcode Scanners make you nervous.

3. You talk your church into adapting the '60s song, "Up Up and Away" as your church hymn.

2. You never buy green bananas.

1. You always leave your top down on your convertible in case the rapture happens.