Help! Reconnecting With A Friend Who Is "Separated"
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:59 am
I have a friend RW. He is not Christian. For many years we have not really hung out but we might in the future.
RW was never married before...
...later he married MC who was, I presumed divorced from her former partner MH who lived with a new partner for years by the time RW and MC got married.
RW and MC had an "open marriage". At that point I was still a fairly new Christian and jumped on an opportunity to move out of their place where I was rooming at the time. From that point I distanced myself further and eventually lost touch for the most part.
2016: Later on 10+ years RW and MC got separated.
RW met a new person a coworker SS but did not have a relationship until both of them separated from their former partners.
MC to my knowledge initated the separation although RW had already been researching how to separate unbeknownst to her.
MC in my view I could not see attracting new men so I presume based on her facebook profile she is still alone.
Provided RW and SS both legally divorced are they free to remarry? If not, then at what point? In God sight it might require having MC and SS's former partner to themselves be in a new relationship before RW and SS could marry.
I am hesitant about offering any congratulations to either RW or SS for their new relationship.
The question may come up about what God might think. To the best of my knowledge I would say:
- God's ideal is for no marriage to end
- In the OT He did make provision for it under specific conditions which Jesus later limited to marital unfaithfulness (adultery) which itself would break the bond
- even so there is an ideal for spouses to reconcile but otherwise they are free to remarry another who is likewise able to remarry on the same grounds
How do I treat this subject with them? I do not plan on confronting them. Neither are Christians but I could see my friend RW bringing it up. Until then I would greet both friendly. How have others handled this situation with a friend in a similar situation? How did it go? How awkward was it for you? Did you overstep your bounds and create any unnecessary friction by broaching the subject? etc.
I do not really have any friends and regret losing the few I had because I felt I was supposed to isolate myself from them. In hindsight I could have remained more in touch in their orbit as a friend busy with his new found faith but not excluding them. I see myself as someone who could be a trusted adviser in moral issues presented to me while not partaking in any immorality.
Any how my main question is to know about how to advise/handle RW's potential questions about this new relationship. He felt a need to tell me that his new relationship did not begin until both he and his new partner separated from their older ones. That hints to me that he might want to say more later. I would like to know how to handle this wisely.
RW was never married before...
...later he married MC who was, I presumed divorced from her former partner MH who lived with a new partner for years by the time RW and MC got married.
RW and MC had an "open marriage". At that point I was still a fairly new Christian and jumped on an opportunity to move out of their place where I was rooming at the time. From that point I distanced myself further and eventually lost touch for the most part.
2016: Later on 10+ years RW and MC got separated.
RW met a new person a coworker SS but did not have a relationship until both of them separated from their former partners.
MC to my knowledge initated the separation although RW had already been researching how to separate unbeknownst to her.
MC in my view I could not see attracting new men so I presume based on her facebook profile she is still alone.
Provided RW and SS both legally divorced are they free to remarry? If not, then at what point? In God sight it might require having MC and SS's former partner to themselves be in a new relationship before RW and SS could marry.
I am hesitant about offering any congratulations to either RW or SS for their new relationship.
The question may come up about what God might think. To the best of my knowledge I would say:
- God's ideal is for no marriage to end
- In the OT He did make provision for it under specific conditions which Jesus later limited to marital unfaithfulness (adultery) which itself would break the bond
- even so there is an ideal for spouses to reconcile but otherwise they are free to remarry another who is likewise able to remarry on the same grounds
How do I treat this subject with them? I do not plan on confronting them. Neither are Christians but I could see my friend RW bringing it up. Until then I would greet both friendly. How have others handled this situation with a friend in a similar situation? How did it go? How awkward was it for you? Did you overstep your bounds and create any unnecessary friction by broaching the subject? etc.
I do not really have any friends and regret losing the few I had because I felt I was supposed to isolate myself from them. In hindsight I could have remained more in touch in their orbit as a friend busy with his new found faith but not excluding them. I see myself as someone who could be a trusted adviser in moral issues presented to me while not partaking in any immorality.
Any how my main question is to know about how to advise/handle RW's potential questions about this new relationship. He felt a need to tell me that his new relationship did not begin until both he and his new partner separated from their older ones. That hints to me that he might want to say more later. I would like to know how to handle this wisely.