Divorce, remarriage, and kids

[lee]

I want to be brief with this message, but hope that some folks with a Biblical perspective might offer some feedback. Say person A is married and has a couple of kids. Person A is a professing Christian and a leader in the church, yet is not too happy in the marriage in general. Person A has an affair and makes a baby with this new person. Person A's real spouse files for divorce, and then engages in multiple affairs to get even. Person A and spouse are not yet divorced, but Person A is gone from the church now and still in a relationship with the new person. So now, person A has a spouse and kids, and a new person and a kid. Person A did not want to get divorced, but now sees it as inevitable and does not want to lose the relationship with the new person. What should Person A do?

[lee]

Please reply...

[Candlepower]

Lee,

I'll take a shot.

Everyone in this scenario is an adulterer, except you, I hope. The first concern for all of them ought to be to get their hearts right with God.

It seems to me that Person A's spouse, though she is now an adulterer herself, is in the driver's seat concerning divorcing Person A. Person A betrayed her (according to your report), so she has scriptural support to divorce him. Person A has no rights and is obligated to abide by her decision. Her subsequent adultery does not negate her right to divorce him for his prior adultery, nor does it free him from his obligation to abide by her decision.

Person A sounds like a very selfish man. You said he felt, "...not too happy in the marriage in general." That is no grounds for either adultery or divorce. You said, "Person A did not want to get divorced." You said he "...does not want to lose the relationship with the new person." Poor irresponsible man -- a classic case of eating your cake and wanting it too.

What should Person A do? If he sincerely wants to help rebuild what's left of the lives he shattered, a very good place for him (as well as for his former spouse and his new fling) to start is by listening carefully and prayerfully to Steve Gregg's lectures on divorce and remarriage. Go to http://www.thenarrowpath.com/mp3table.html and hunt under "Toward a Radically Christian Counterculture" to find his lectures on the subject. They will give you and Person A the Scriptural basis needed to understand what person A ought to do.

God bless you for your concern.

Candlepower

[lee]

Thanks for the reply.

These were my thoughts as well. I am glad they have been confirmed by a fellow believer
...and your hope is correct, I am not one of the people in this scenario.