Marriage but no children?

Post by **_Rick_C** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:21 pm

Greetings in the Lord,

I've been listening to Steve's lectures for about a year now, having first heard him on "Hank" re: the millennium & dispensationalism, etc. Steve addressed things relating to my question in some of his lectures but never directly.

One biblical purpose of marriage is having children. To this I'm sure we would all agree. However, what does the bible say about marriage when having children is not possible? By this, I mean when one or both of the spouses would be too old for this.

Asked another way; I'm fifty and single (meaning never-married) and am not interested in younger women. And most women "my age" are past child-bearing years. Having been an alcoholic and delivered by God's grace(!) I have discovered I still have a sex drive...if you see what I am saying. Of course "this" wouldn't be the only reason I would become married but it would definately be one of them.

I haven't asked my question:
Is it wrong or is it "bad motives" to get married while knowing that having children is not possible?

Thanx

Post by **_Derek** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:57 pm

Is it wrong or is it "bad motives" to get married while knowing that having children is not possible?

No. I don't think it's wrong at all.

For one, God made woman because it wasn't good for man to be alone.

Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

Also, it would seem that sexual gratification is another reason. Paul even makes a point of telling married couples not to "deprive" each other, so as to avoid temptations that would arise from lust.

1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1Co 7:2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1Co 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1Co 7:5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Marriage (when lived out rightly) is also a model to the world of Christ and the church, and can bring great glory to Him. (See Eph. 5:22-33).

I am sure there are many more Biblical reasons for marriage besides child bearing that are not coming to my (sleepy) mind.

God bless you,

Post by **_Seth** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:56 am

I also don't think this would be a problem. Even those groups (Catholics, e.g.) who think that all sexuality must be "open to life" don't have a problem with a couple who's infertile. It's the attitude of "we're open to the Lord's plan" that's the key point.

I agree with Steve, however, that a couple who marries but intends to prevent any possibility of conception might be doing wrong.

Also, remember "the way of women" had left Sarah, but Isaac still came into the world...

Post by **_Steve** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 12:16 pm

I agree with the answers given above. There would be no reason for me to weigh-in on this, except that it was through listening to my lectures that the question arose. Therefore, it seems appropriate that I identify my position (which is like those expressed above), due to my neglect of doing so in the lectures.

I am also in my fifties and single. I have certainly not ruled-out remarriage, though, at my age, I would no doubt marry a woman for whom having more children would no longer be possible. If I remarry, it will be partly for the purpose of avoiding sexual distraction (Paul's recommendation), but more to acquire a partner in my calling. If I remain single, it will be because I judge that perpetual singleness is better for the fulfillment of my calling than would be marriage to any of the available women I know.

If I were still young, and considering marriage to a young woman, I would definitely do so with a mind to produce godly offspring, as well as the above reasons.

Post by **_Rae** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 12:52 pm

Hey, you never know! My dad was 54 when he married my mom who was 30 and then they had me! =)

Post by **_Derek** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:05 pm

I agree with Steve, however, that a couple who marries but intends to prevent any possibility of conception might be doing wrong.

I would agree with this position as well.

God bless,

Post by **_Rick_C** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:30 pm

Thank you all for your replies.

Derek, (nice to meet you),
Good job on a biblical overview! When I read your first quote [Gen. 2:18] it "dawned on me again"...a godly purpose for marriage is, at least in part, so we can be un-alone. This reiterates God; He doesn't want to be alone either! The Ephesians passage is one I've heard all my life. But being single all these years I've (wrongly) reasoned, "Well, that chapter's just for married guys." Obviously the whole book is for Christians...Ephesians and the entire Bible! Married or not, I've come to a new appreciation for what Paul has to say in Ephesians 5, including a new respect for women and seeing how Jesus "relates" to His church (us)!

Steve (good meeting you also),
I really appreciate your replying! In listening to your lectures on marriage, etc., it seemed you were probably teaching younger people. So I seriously doubt you "neglected" we older folks intentionally! I had considered calling your radio show to ask my question but I work then.

In all candor, friends, I think I did know what the Bible has to say about my question. I just needed to "hear" God's view again from someone (thanx)! I missed out on having a family due to my backsliding, becoming an alcoholic, a fornicator, (and probably lost my salvation). Since getting faith again in 1999 I occassionally feel something like "guilt-pangs"...that I have missed-out-on-life. But today, since I can't live like how I used to -- Jesus is Lord! -- I'm in that continual process of "renewing my mind" (Ro. 12:2). I'm learning how to really be a Christian and have to double-check my motives, sometimes often. Whatever the Lord has for my life, be it celibacy or marriage; I want to walk in the Spirit and put-to-death the deeds of the body [Ro. 8:13].

I'm still getting used to this Christian living stuff...and it's much more than worth it!

Thanx everyone...'was just double-checking myself here.....

Post by **_Derek** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:23 pm

Derek, (nice to meet you),

Nice to meet you too brother! Looking forward to reading more of you.

God bless you,